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Bo's Journey Home - Chapter 12 Monday, June 30th, 2003 a week late Nora’s House   Nora glanced up towards her steps for what seemed like the 100th time that morning, listening for any movement from her son. She had been working from home since Matthew had been found less than a week ago. The 2 and half days that he had been missing had been an eternity for her. But with Bo to lean on, she had managed to survive and Bo had brought him safely home to her. And even though there had been no physical injuries, Dr. Larry had insisted he spend that first night in the hospital. Now that he was home, she was afraid to let him out of her sight. She knew she would have to send him back to day camp and she would have to return to work. She figured she and Matthew would both be ready after the 4th of July holiday this weekend.   Nora had asked Bo if he could take some time off from work to help her with Mathew. Since she and Bo had brought Matthew home, he had been distant, unsettled, and angry. So the two of them were trying to spend as much time as possible with Matthew, trying to get him to open up to what had happened in regards to his disappearance. But it seemed to Nora that no matter what she and Bo said or did, Matthew had an adverse response. It was like walking on eggshells around him. His attitude alternated between being extremely angry when he was with Bo or extremely sad when he was her. And whenever he was with both of them, the silence was deafening. Any attempt to have a conversation with him seemed to bring out the worst in him.   Getting Matthew to eat had also become a battle. Every night, Bo had tried to persuade Matthew by suggesting one of his favorite fast foods for him, but Matthew refused. Any meal suggestions that Bo made became confrontations. Matthew used to like the same fast food, pizza delivery, and Chinese food nights that Nora and Bo used to enjoy. Now at the mere suggestion of pizza delivery, he sulked and refused to eat.   Today was Nora’s first day with Matthew without Bo. Bo had to get back to work. He hadn’t worked on any of his open cases, including Matthew’s, in a week. Nora looked up again at the steps as she heard a door close. The newest battle was trying to get Matthew to leave his room. She waited a minute and then pushed herself away from her desk and went up to see her son. She stopped in front of his closed bedroom door and knocked softly.   Matthew voice came dully from behind the door. “Yes?”   Nora spoke into the closed door. “Can I come in?” There was no response at first, then his consent.   Matthew let out a heaving sigh. “I guess.”   Nora turned the knob and let herself in. He was sitting in the window well, staring out blankly. “Hiya handsome,” she called softly.   Matthew waved his hand at her slightly, not looking at her. “Hi.”   Nora spoke gently, nodding towards the window. “Anything good happening out there?”   Matthew’s reply was still dull. “Nothing, really. I’m just looking.”   “Don’t you want to go out and play or ride your bike?” she suggested.   Matthew shook his head. “Nah.”   Nora pressed him slightly. “Are you sure? Starr has called every day asking for you.”   Matthew just shrugged. “I don’t wanna go out.”   Nora pressed him further. “Are you hungry?”   Matthew shook his head dejectedly. “Nah.”   He used to always be hungry. Nora had noticed he had lost some weight since he had been home and he was all ready to thin. Nora just wished he would talk to her. “Sweetheart, you have to start eating. Dr. Larry said if you don’t, you’ll have to spend more time in the hospital.”   Matthew’s reply was almost a whine. “I’m not hungry.”   Nora agreed with him for now, not wanting to make him any more upset than he appeared to be. “Okay, you don’t have to eat right now.” She walked over to her son, kneeling down in front of him. His head was bent down; his body, almost limp. She put her hands on his legs, squeezing them gently, calling to him. “Matthew?” She got no response and called his name again. “Matthew, honey, please look at me.” Matthew slowly lifted his head to look at his mother. She looked at his face, his father’s face, and saw such sadness in his eyes that it broke her heart. “Matthew, please talk to me and tell me what’s wrong.”   Matthew shook his head. “It’s nothin.”   Nora also shook her head, disagreeing with him. “It’s not nothing. Since you’ve been home, you have been so sad.” She was cautious as she asked him her next question. “Did something happen to you when you were missing? You can tell me.”   Matthew continued to shake his head from side to side. “No mom, nothing happen to me. I told you, I just got lost.”   Nora nodded. “I know what you told me. But I also know what I see in your eyes. You have been so angry. And other times, like now, you are so sad. “Is it…?” She hesitated a brief second. “…your dad? Do you miss him?”   Matthew looked up at her with tears in his eyes. He knew she meant Sam. How could he tell her that he was hurting for her, over what Bo had done to both of them? How could he explain it to her without hurting her, without making her cry again? So he kept it in. “It’s not that …I mean, I’m always gonna miss him. It’s just….   Nora took his face gently in her hands. “Just what?” She was desperate to ease his sadness. “Can’t you talk to me? I thought you and I had the trust thing covered between us.”   Matthew replied, barely in a whisper. “So did I.” Realizing he spoke out loud, he stopped himself, quickly looking away from her.   Nora was not quite sure she heard him right. “What do you mean? Have I done something to upset you?” she asked him carefully.   Matthew replied softly. “Not you.”   Nora was struggling to understand. This was the most she had gotten out of him in a week. “Not me?” she repeated slowly. “Then who, Matthew? What is it that you can’t tell me?”   Matthew was struggling with so many emotions; he wanted to tell her everything; that he knew that Bo was his real father; he wanted to tell her he was just as angry and hurt as she was that Bo had left them; that he understood that he, Matthew, must remind her of how much Bo had hurt her; and that he didn’t want to be like Bo and hurt her anymore; he wanted to protect her. So Matthew held back again. “It’s nothin,” he said. “I just wish…” he stopped again.   She repeated his words. “You just wish what?”   He paused, struggling with his thoughts, shaking his head. “I can’t talk about this with you, mom. I just can’t.”   Nora tried desperately to convince him. “Try me.”   Matthew suddenly lurched forward and grabbed her into a fierce hug, resting his head on her shoulder. “I would never abandon you, mom. I promise.”   Nora almost fell back from his sudden leap into her arms. She held him tightly. “Okay,” she said slowly. “Okay,” she repeated.” She returned the force of his hug. “And I will never abandon you.” She wondered where that word had come from. She was just about to pursue that when the phone rang. They both heard the machine and Bo’s voice come across. Nora felt Matthew stiffen just before he pulled himself away from her. He was angry again. “You’d better get that.   Nora let the machine continue. “I can call Bo back. I want to talk to you.”   Matthew pushed her away. “I don’t want to talk anymore. Besides, if you don’t answer it, you know he’ll just come over again.” Nora quickly ran into her bedroom and picked up the extension before Bo hung up. Nora’s voice was distant as she answered. “Bo, I’m here…”   “How’s Matthew today?” came his voice through the phone.   Nora was still distant, looking towards her bedroom door towards Matthew’s room. She was still a bit confused about Matthew and their conversation. “Umm, he’s okay…   Bo was now concerned. He could barely hear her. “Nora, are you still there? Is Matthew all right?”   Nora tried to shake off her confusion and concentrate on Bo. “Yes, I’m here. We’re okay.”   Bo wished he was there. “How is Matthew?” he asked again.   Nora paused. She really didn’t know. “Not sure. The same, I think. I’m working on him.”   Bo was confused. “What do you mean?”   “We just had our first civil conversation since you found him, and, well,” she hesitated. “I don’t know. He said something strange.”   Bo was interested. “What did he say that was strange? Has he told you anything about the two and half days he was gone?”   “No, not a word about where he was or what happened to him while he was missing.” Nora wanted to hang up and get back to Matthew. She wanted some more time to try and talk with Matthew herself.   Bo sighed into the phone. “Well, I have an idea.”   Nora was surprised. “About the time he was gone?”   Bo shook his head on his side of the phone. “Not really. More like something to help bring him out of this…” Bo struggled to find the right word to describe Matthew’s behavior lately. “…mood or funk he’s been in.” Bo smiled into the phone. “What if the three of us go to the 4th of July fireworks this weekend? We can go over to the state park early, hang out for the day, and end it with the fireworks. Matthew loves fireworks. What do you say?”   Nora was guarded. Since that kiss in the hospital, of which they had both carefully avoided talking about, things between them had gotten strange. “What about Gabrielle?” Nora asked.   Bo responded quickly. “What about her? This is about Matthew. She’ll have to understand that I need to spend time with Matthew. Besides, she can go with Marcie and Al and I can see her there.”   Nora responded just as quickly back. “Bo, why don’t you just go with Gabrielle and maybe Matthew and I will see you there.”   Bo was quiet on his end of the phone. Ever since that kiss, the easy manner that they had found to co-exist was back to being strained. “Maybe you’ll see me there?” he repeated. Don’t you think it’s a good idea to get Matthew out of that house? I’m just trying to help my son here.”   Nora realized her comment came out wrong and was trying to back pedal. “I know that. I just meant…”   Bo interrupted her not wanting to start an argument. “Okay,” he agreed, continuing, using her words. Then maybe I’ll see you and Matthew there. You can call me and let me know what you decide. I’ve got a meeting here. I gotta go.” He hung up abruptly.   Nora called into the phone, trying to stop him from hanging up. “Bo, wait!” She was answered by the dial tone. “Great,” Nora muttered, slamming the phone back in its cradle. “Just great.” To be continued …