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Bo's Journey Home - Chapter 13   Nora did not see Bo for the next 2 days. He had left one message to check in on Matthew, but she had been in the shower and missed the call. She had left Bo a message to let him know that he was right about getting Matthew out of the house; and that she and Matthew would be at the fireworks. But he had not returned her call and that annoyed her. If he had been the one that was trying to reach her and she didn’t call him back, he would be banging at her front door. “Well, just wait until she saw him Friday,” she thought. She would demand they sit down and talk about whatever it was that seemed to suddenly being going on between them. Meanwhile, she was still trying to deal with Matthew’s behavior. She continued to try and get him to talk to her again, but he had closed back up, the sadness clouding his eyes.   Come Friday, she and Matthew had quite the argument about going to the park and to the fireworks. But she won, playing the only card she had left; that she was his mother and he would do what she said. She hated using that tactic, she sounded like her own mother. But if it got him out of the house and around other people, she would use what she could. She had packed some root beers and some snacks, figuring they would eat chili dogs at the park. Matthew did not speak to her the whole ride over. So both Buchanan men weren’t speaking to her. “This was going to be a banner day,” she thought.   When they arrived at the park, it had all ready started to fill up. She had Matthew carry the blanket and she carried the snacks. Starr saw Matthew and came over and dragged him off to the concession stands. Nora was still a little nervous about having him out her of sight for too long so she went off to find the two kids.   Bo had decided to work police detail the day of the fireworks. He was so annoyed with Nora, not understanding why she was suddenly shutting him out. He thought he had been helping by suggesting a day out together as a family. It might even be exactly what Matthew needed. There was something more going on with Matthew and Bo desperately wanted to figure it out. But that wasn’t going to be today. He arrived in his police car and parked close to the park entrance. He got out and made his way over towards the lake. Gabrielle, who had decided to come with Marcie and Al, saw him arrive and walked over to him.   “Tell me again why you are working today?” Gabrielle whined.   Bo stood by the water, scanning the crowd of people starting to arrive. “A lot of my officers worked overtime and some of them worked on their own time looking for Matthew. I decided to give as many of them as I could this day to spend with their kids.”   Gabrielle stood beside Bo, trying to hide her annoyance. “You worked a lot of hours too. You’ve been at Nora’s every day the past week and almost every night for dinner. Why couldn’t you and I spend this day together?”   Bo was annoyed. Between Gabrielle giving him a hard time about spending time with Matthew and Nora giving him a hard time about coming to the fireworks together, at this point he wished he had stayed at home. “I’m right here, aren’t I?” he shot back.   “It’s not the same,” Gabrielle whined again. “You’re working.”   Bo was now exasperated. “Give it a rest Gabrielle, will you?”   Gabrielle watched him scan the crowds with his eyes. She knew where his thoughts were. He was hoping to see Nora and Matthew. But Gabrielle didn’t want to see Matthew with Nora around. She wanted a chance to see Matthew alone, see how he would react to her.   “Are Nora and Matthew coming?” she asked casually.   Bo shrugged. “I don’t know. Nora left me a message saying they would be here for the fireworks. So I don’t know when they will be here.”   Gabrielle was a little bored, standing next to Bo who was scanning the crowds hoping to catch sight of Nora or Matthew. “Al and Marcie went to get something to eat. I’m going to go look for them.”   Bo nodded, his eyes still scanning the groups of people arriving and setting up. “I’ll see you later.”   Gabrielle turned from him and left, Bo barely noticing. He had caught sight of the small boy slowly heading towards the lake and recognized him as Matthew. Bo waited for Matthew to get closer before calling out to him. “Hey Matthew!” Bo called with a slight smile. “Where’s your mother?”   Matthew stopped short, glaring at him. “What are you doing here?” he demanded.   Bo was a bit taken back by the tone of Matthew’s voice. “Matthew, what’s wrong?” Matthew tried to ignore Bo and push past him. Bo stepped in front of Mathew and blocked his way. “What’s going on, Matthew? Did something happen?”   Matthew again tried to step around Bo. “Talk to me Matthew,” Bo coaxed. Matthew looked up at Bo and their eyes met and locked. “I can see it in your eyes that you want to tell me something. It’s just you and me here now. So tell me. What is it?”   The words burst out of Matthew before he realized he was even speaking, the hurt and anger he had been feeling for over a week coming through in his voice. “You lied to me about who you really are.”   Bo was confused and taken back by Matthew’s intense anger and hurt. “Lied to you?” he repeated.   Matthew folded his arms across his chest. Tears were swelling in his eyes but he held them back. His anger and his hurt were almost overwhelming him. “You’re my father, and you abandoned me!”   Bo was almost knocked over with his simple statement of fact. He couldn’t respond. He just stood there, stunned, staring at those big, brown eyes filled with tears. Matthew continued, his tears now falling to run down both sides of his face. “That’s right, I know the truth. I know how you’ve just pretended to be my friend all this time, how you never even wanted me. I know everything.” With that said, Matthew started to turn away from Bo.   Bo reached for him, grabbing Matthew’s arms, and kneeling in front of him. “Did your mother tell you all of that?” he asked in disbelief.   Matthew was struggling in Bo’s grip, angry that Bo was holding onto him. “No. She doesn’t know that I know, so don’t you tell her anything. You already hurt her once. Or is that another promise you can’t keep?”   Bo was struggling with hundreds of emotions inside and at the same time, trying to calm his angry son. “Hurt her? Another promise? Matthew, I don’t understand what’s going on here. Who told you all of this?”   Matthew continued to squirm in Bo’s grip. “It doesn’t matter who told me because I know the truth now.” Bo shook his head. “What truth? None of that is true. Just let me talk to you about all of this. It’ll be just between us. I won’t tell your mother anything. I promise.”   Matthew shook his head no, trying to break free of Bo’s hold. “You break all your promises.”   Bo tried to make Matthew look at him. “Just listen to me for a minute. Just let me talk to you about all of this.”   Matthew was till struggling in Bo’s grip, trying to break from his hold. “I don’t want to talk to you, all right. I wish you had never found me! Let me go! Just let me go,” he repeated.   Bo loosened his hold on Matthew’s arms, and Matthew broke from Bo’s hold. He turned and ran right into his mother, who had just come down the path. Matthew grabbed her tightly around the waist, burying his face into her body. “Take me home, mom. I want to go home.” Nora tried to pull him from her, to look at him. “Matthew, what happened?” He wouldn’t break his hold from around her waist. She looked up at Bo, who was standing there pale. She could see the hurt and confusion in Bo’s eyes and feel the hurt and confusion in the grasp of her son. She was just as confused. “Bo? What’s going on?”   Bo stared down at the ground. He couldn’t look at her. He just shook his head slightly, saying softly, “Take him home, Nora.”   Nora was still holding onto Matthew, but looking at Bo. Why wouldn’t Bo look at her? “Bo, I don’t understand. What’s going on?”   Bo looked up quickly, putting his hand up to stop her from speaking. “Just take him home,” he repeated quietly.   Against her better judgment, Nora turned from Bo and walked away awkwardly with Matthew still holding her tightly around her waist. Bo watched them as they headed to the parking area. He stood there not moving, his hands limply on his hips. “What the hell just happened here?” he thought to himself. He ran his hand through his hair, thinking. “Where did Matthew come up with all of those things? Nora would never have told Matthew that Bo was his father without him, would she?” Bo shook his head, placing his hands back on his hips. “No,” he continued to himself. “Matthew said Nora didn’t know and he was pretty adamant that she not find out what Matthew knew.” He continued to stand there, Gabrielle’s voice shaking him from his thoughts. She reached out and touched his arm lightly. “Bo? Honey, are you all right?”   Bo looked up at her, not really seeing her. He looked around absently, almost trying to figure out where he was. “Umm, I have to go.” He started back towards his car.   Gabrielle was very concerned. “Is everything okay? Is it police business?” Bo didn’t look back at her. Gabrielle called out to him. “Will you be home later?”   Bo didn’t answer. He continued to his car and drove off.   Nora got Matthew home and they walked into the house slowly. Matthew plopped down onto the sofa and just sat there. Nora stood by the door, staring at her son. She heaved a sigh and walked over to him, standing in front of him. She spoke in a quiet tone. “Do you want to tell me what just happened?”   Matthew looked up at her blankly. “Nothing happened.”   She tilted her head at him slightly to show her disbelief. “You were awfully upset. Did you and Bo have a fight?”   Matthew tried to stall. “I just… I didn’t feel well.”   Nora didn’t believe him but played along. “Not feel well?” She felt his head with her hand, brushing over the slight scar that remained from the cut over his left eye. “Does your head still hurt?”   Matthew nodded in agreement with her assessment. “Yeah, yeah, that’s it, my head hurts.”   Nora looked at him doubtfully. “Is that it really?”   Matthew couldn’t outright lie to her. He sat back and sulked, his hand falling from the back of the sofa to lay limply by his side. “No.”   Nora sat down next to him, almost pleading with him. “Matthew, please, tell me. What happened with you and Bo?”   Matthew turned his head from her. “It was nothin.”   Nora took his chin in her hand and turned his head back to face her, trying to convince him. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened. Did you remember something from when you disappeared that upset you? Is that what you and Bo were talking about?” Matthew was struggling hard with his emotions. She could see it in his eyes. He was as transparent as his father. Another trait she had somehow missed. Matthew continued to hold back from her, somehow trying to protect her. “I can’t talk about it with you, mom. I just can’t.”   Nora was silent a moment. Then she spoke. “If you can’t tell me what happened with you and Bo, then you need to talk it out with Bo. I can call him to come over.”   Matthew pulled his head gently from her hold. “I don’t want to talk to him about it. It hurts too much to talk about it.”   Nora had never felt so helpless in her life. “What hurts to talk about?”   Matthew spoke softly. “Please don’t ask me.”   Nora continued to press. “Why? Is it that terrible that you think I won’t be able to handle it? I can handle anything.”   Matthew shook his head. “Not this.”   Nora still felt helpless. “Matthew, sometimes it helps to talk things out. You’ll feel so much better.”   Matthew shook his head. “I just can’t, mom.” He looked up at her. “I just can’t talk to you about this right now.” Nora didn’t know what else to do. “Well, when you feel like you can talk about it, I’m here for you. I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I love you, Matthew. Nothing you could tell me will change that." Matthew looked up at her, moving into her arms, hugging her. “And I love you, too. I’ll always be here for you, mom. That’s a promise.” Nora held him close to her, wondering about Bo.   Meanwhile, Bo drove around the streets of Llanview for hours, struggling with all he knew. He was now piecing together more of Matthew’s disappearance. Bo had all ready surmised that Matthew had run away. And now Bo knew why. Matthew somehow found out that Bo was his real father and had run away, trying to escape from the truth, and had wished he hadn’t even been found. But why, was the real question. Bo thought back to what Matthew had said to him at the park. Where did all of that come from? Bo arrived back at the police station with all of these questions going round in his mind. He walked slowly to his office. Some of the officers called out to him and he barely acknowledged them. He closed his office door and sat down behind his desk, staring at the pictures there. His eyes moved from the picture of Matthew to the picture of Drew. The picture of Drew stared back at him.   Got a picture of you, I carry in my heart Close my eyes to see you, when the world gets dark Got a memory of you, I carry in my soul I wrap it close around me When the nights get cold If you ask me how I’m doing I’d say just fine But the truth is baby If you could read my mind Not a day goes by That I don’t think of you After all this time, You’re still with me, it’s true Some how you remain Locked so deep inside, Baby, baby, oh baby Not a day goes by…. That I don’t think of you…   Such regrets, Bo thought. My life that could have been, and wasn’t. Bo had made so many mistakes. If he could take back just that one, he would sell his soul. He let that thought pass. He reached down for Matthew’s file. The police drawings of the two people in the diner were there. Antonio was right, they were sketchy at best. A woman and a man; yet there was something vaguely familiar about both photos, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. He had looked at so many pictures in his time as Commissioner of Police; the familiarity he was feeling could be anything. But he couldn’t concentrate right now. He couldn’t think clear. He was overwhelmed with thoughts of Matthew and Drew. He dropped the file down on his desk and stood, staring out the window. It was getting dark, the fireworks would be starting. He stood there staring for a long time.   Not A Day Goes By… LoneStar To be continued …