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Bo's Journey Home - Chapter 23   Bo had just gotten to his office the morning after his confrontation with Gabrielle and was hanging up his suit jacket when there was a soft knock on his open door. He turned and saw Max. “Great,” he thought to himself. “Just great. I end one day with Gabrielle, and start the next one with Max Holden.” He moved to stand behind his desk, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. “Well, if it isn’t Maximillian Holden.” Bo greeted him, his voice full of sarcasm. “What can the Commissioner of Police do for you today?”   Max walked slowly into Bo’s office, extending his hand. “I just wanted to drop these off.” He handed Bo a set of keys. “Here are the keys to the Garrett. Gabrielle is staying with me.”   Bo nodded knowingly. “Really? Thick as thieves, are you?”   Max was a little uncomfortable, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, finally choosing to sit in the chair in front of Bo’s desk. “Bo, she’s really upset.”   Bo raised his voice, his anger still fresh. “As she should be. And what about you?”   Max was confused. “What about me?”   Bo walked from behind his desk and slammed his office door shut, startling the officers and detectives in the squad room. “You were there, in the diner with her, when she told Matthew I was his father, weren’t you?” Bo accused knowingly.   Max didn’t respond right away. He was stalling, trying to protect Gabrielle. “Bo, it just kind of slipped out. She didn’t mean…”   Bo was yelling at him. “Stop Max. Just stop! Don’t make it worse by lying for her.” Bo was yelling so loud now, the officers in the squad room were staring at his office.   Nora had arrived. She looked around at the officers. “What’s going on in there?”   None of them answered so Marcie answered for all of them. “Mr. Holden and the Commissioner have been in there yelling for about 5 minutes. The Commissioner slammed his door, so we’re not quite sure exactly what is going on.”   Nora stared into Bo’s office along with the rest of his officers. She focused her attention on Bo, knowing his body language well enough so see he was angry.   Bo took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “And what about you Max? I thought we were friends.”   Max nodded in agreement. “We are friends.”   Bo cut Max off, yelling again. “You let her attack a little boy, Max, my son, and drive him blindly into the street. You call that being my friend?” Bo paused. “Matthew was missing for almost 3 days. Did you even think to contact me to let me know what happened?”   Max swallowed hard. “Bo, I didn’t know he was missing until after he was found. I went to Atlantic City on business. I didn’t get back until Thursday.”   Bo didn’t believe him. “And you didn’t see any of the newscasts, hear the Amber alert?”   Max shook his head, shifting in the chair uncomfortably. “I was involved in a business deal. Look, I’m sorry.”   Bo angrily tossed the Garrett keys onto his desk. “Your apology means nothing to me. And don’t bother trying to make an excuse for her, because I’m not hearing it.”   Max stood and headed towards the closed office door, thinking it was best if he left. “Maybe when you cool off, you’ll listen to reason.”   Bo had a warning look in his eyes. “Don’t go there, Max. I think you better leave.”   Max opened the office door, looking back at Bo. “I really am glad that Matthew’s okay.”   Bo muttered. “No thanks to you or Gabrielle. Good-bye Max.”   Max left Bo’s office, stopping in front of Nora. “Nora, I am sorry.”   Bo had followed him to the office door. “Good-bye, Max,” he repeated loudly.   Nora watched Max leave and then followed Bo back into his office. She stood there staring at him. “What’s going on? Why are you so angry at Max?” She pointed over her shoulder to where Max had just left. “And what’s he sorry for?”   Bo ignored her questions, changing the subject. “I see you got my message. Thanks for coming.”   Nora looked at him closely, folding her arms across her chest. He was still angry. “Uh-Uh, mister. No changing the subject. What was that all about?”   Bo pointed to his door, still seething in anger. “Can we walk?” When she didn’t respond, Bo grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. Nora called out for him to come back. When he didn’t respond or return, she threw her arms up in the air, having no choice but to quickly follow him. She left the building, looking up and down the street, just catching sight of him at the end of the city block. She caught up with him halfway to Angel Square. Nora tried a few times to get him to slow down and talk to her, but he remained silent, keeping a steady pace until they reached the Square. Nora watched him pace the Square. She knew him well enough that he would talk when he was ready. Finally, Bo sat down on the bench below Luna’s statue. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands folded in front of him. The walk had at least calmed some of his anger. He started slowly. “I have to tell you something.” He shook his head slightly. “I haven’t been completely honest with you these past few days.”   Nora nodded in agreement, joining him on the bench, her lips pressed together. “I gathered.”   Bo turned his head, looking sideways at her. “I wanted to be.” He paused, now turning his head away from her. “I’ve been really torn.”   And he still was. Nora could see the torment in his transparent blue eyes. She reached her hand out, wanting to touch him, comfort him, and then pulled back. “I could see that.”   Bo closed his eyes, running his hands up through his hair and down onto the back of his neck. “And I swore, never again.”   Nora nodded in understanding. Their past. “I know.”   Bo looked back at her, clasping his hands together in front of him again. “Did Matthew tell you?” he stopped as Nora nodded and spoke, “That he knows you are his father?” She finished his sentence for him. They could always do that. “Yes, he told me.”   Bo sat back on the bench so his face was directly across from hers. “I didn’t tell him, Red. He all ready knew.”   Nora felt that tug again at the back of her heart at his use of her nickname. He rarely called her that these days. She missed it. “I know that, too,” she revealed. “I figured it out when you asked me about taking him to the lodge.” He looked at her surprised and she explained with a slight smile. “I’m a better lawyer than you are a witness.” He smiled back at her and she continued. “I just didn’t know how he knew, until you two got back and Matthew told me it was Gabrielle,” she paused, raising her eyebrows at him. “And maybe Max? Is that what was going on between you two?”   Bo stopped her abruptly as she said Gabrielle’s name. “Gabrielle’s all ready been dealt with and Max, well.”   Nora now let some of her own anger show. “Yeah, well, I’m not making any promises that I won’t deal with Gabrielle when I see her. She had no right, Bo, to tell Matthew.”   Bo cut her off. “Nora, I’ve all ready dealt with her. She’s staying with Max.”   Nora was surprised. “What?” She added in a softer tone. “I’m sorry, Bo. I’m mean, she shouldn’t have told Matthew, but...”   Bo angrily cut her off. “You’re sorry?! Nora, don’t. Don’t make an excuse for her. Did Matthew tell you how it happened? What she told him?”   Nora thought back to the conversation she had with Matthew. She couldn’t remember what Matthew had said. “No, he just said that Gabrielle had told him.”   Bo shook his head, still angry. “Then you don’t know the half of it.”   Nora waited, wanting him to calm himself. “Feel like talking about it?”   Bo’s voice was calmer. “Gabrielle’s not worth talking about anymore. Just know that I will never let her hurt Matthew again.” Bo looked back at her, changing the subject. “So, if you knew that Matthew knew the truth, why didn’t you say something to me?”   Nora tipped her head to one side. “I thought you would say something to me first.”   Bo shook his head again. “I couldn’t Nora, I gave Matthew my word. I couldn’t go back on my word, not after.” He stopped again in mid-sentence.   Nora continued for him. “Not after what?”   Bo proceeded to tell Nora about his encounter with Matthew on the 4th of July. Nora was now beginning to understand. “So that’s when you promised him you wouldn’t tell me.”   Bo nodded. “Don’t you see, Nora, I didn’t know what else to do.” He looked at her. “He is so angry with me.”   Nora corrected him. “Was angry. He’s not anymore.”   Bo rolled his eyes. “Yeah right.” He sighed. “It was a hellava weekend.”   “Yes, it was,” Nora agreed.   Bo looked at her surprised. “Did Matthew tell you about it?”   “We talked a little about it,” she said.   Bo looked at her hopefully. “Well? What did he say?”   “He had a really good time,” she told him with a smile. “The boat, the swimming,” then raised her eyebrows at him slightly. “The Jet Ski?”   Bo shrugged before he let his shoulders sag a bit. “I would have done anything to win him over.” He paused. “Is that all he said?”   Nora looked at him intently. “He told me about the ‘deal’ you two made.”   Bo turned from her. “Oh yeah, that.”   Nora mimicked him. “Oh yeah, that.” She spoke to him as if he were the child. “What were you thinking telling him that you would walk away if that’s what he wanted? That’s how you wanted to win him over? You’re the parent, you don’t let a 6 year-old make that kind of decision.”   Bo shot right back. “First of all, this parent stuff is all new to me, remember? And you weren’t there; I had to do something.” He heaved a sigh, turning away from her, not able to look at her. “I won’t force Matthew to love me, Nora, no matter how much I want him in my life.”   Nora now reached out a hand and touched his arm. “Bo, you don’t have to force Matthew to love you. He all ready does. And he wants you in his life.”   Bo looked at her doubtfully. “Did he tell you that? Because you didn’t spend the weekend with him. I mean, we had our moments.”   Nora interrupted him. “Bo, I’ve spoken to Matthew. You did a great job this weekend.” She smiled nervously, echoing his words, “For someone new to this parent stuff. I don’t know how you were able to tell him everything,” She paused, removing her hand from his arm, looking away from him. “I mean,” She paused again. “Explain stuff, you know; us; Sam and me.” She paused a third time, looking back at him. “I couldn’t have done it,” she added quietly.   Bo looked away from her again. “It wasn’t the best time of my life I’ve ever had to relive, for a 6 year old, no less.”   Nora looked away from him as well. For two people sitting so close, the distance between them was huge. “No, I guess not,” she agreed quietly. There was a deafening silence between them. Bo spoke first. “I told him everything, Nora, on a level I thought he could understand.” He looked back at her. “It wasn’t just about you and Sam, you know. There was me and Drew.”   Nora tried to swallow the lump rising in her throat. The tears were just threatening behind her eyes. Every time she went back to their past, she couldn’t stop the tears. “Well,” she said, “much to Matthew’s misinformation, you’re not the one who broke your promises. I did; the marriage promise.” She hesitated a split second and then said it. “I slept with Sam.”   Bo released a heavy sigh. He hated talking about this. Nothing in his life compared to this pain. “Yeah, well,” He swallowed hard. “Matthew had one thing right about me. I wouldn’t forgive you and I left you.” He paused, thinking back to the day he had proposed to Nora. ***************************** Bo: “Even when I thought you had caused the accident, one thing didn’t change. I never stopped loving you, Nora. And I never will.”   Nora: “I guess I’m just going to have to trust that, aren’t I.”   Bo: “Yeah, yeah that’s what we’re gonna do. From now on. (They kiss) From now on, no more doubts. All right. Hey. Look at me. You say it.”   Nora: “No more doubts, never again.”   Bo: “Right. Because there’s, there’s nothing you could ever do that I couldn’t forgive you for. Okay. (He smiles at her) Just know that.”   Nora: “I do. I do now.” (They kiss and fall back onto the couch) ********************************* Bo brought himself back from that memory. “I told you the day I asked you to marry me, that there was nothing you could ever do that I couldn’t forgive you for. And I broke that promise. And I left you. And I’ve missed out on so much.”   Nora stood, moving from him, trying to hide her tears. “Well, we can’t go back and change what happened.”   Bo was still sitting on the bench. “No, we can’t.” The tears in Nora eyes had starting to fall. Bo stood and walked over to her, taking her in his arms and hugging her. “But the worst is over,” he whispered in her ear. “We can move forward, with Matthew.” She had rested her chin on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his waist. He turned and kissed the side of her face, allowing his mouth to linger there, taking in her scent. Nora pulled back from his shoulder, her eyes locking on his, their faces close enough that each could feel the other’s breath against their lips. Bo was just about to touch his lips to hers when his cell phone rang. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers before pulling away from her, letting out a sigh. “What timing,” he muttered, grabbing his phone from off his belt and flipping it open. “Buchanan!”   Nora touched her lips with her finger, still feeling his breath there. Bo raised his eyebrows, looking over at Nora as he spoke into his phone. “Hey Matthew.” Nora looked back at him surprised, pointing at Bo and then herself, mouthing “Our Matthew?” and Bo nodded, speaking back into the phone. “Hey buddy, what’s up? You okay?” Bo was still looking at Nora as he spoke into the phone. “Dinner tonight? At your house?” Nora raised her eyebrows, shrugging. “Have you talked to your mom about it?” Bo continued speaking into the phone. Nora was trying to follow the conversation from Bo’s answers. “Sure, I can be there. Are you cooking?” Nora smiled as did Bo. “Oh, I see, you’re ordering pizza. Sounds good to me. Your mom’s right here, do you want to talk with her? Okay, I’ll see you tonight. Hold on.” Bo passed the phone to Nora, shrugging his shoulders, making that “I have no idea” look with his eyebrows.   Nora spoke into the phone. “Hi sweetheart. Are you okay?”   Matthew nodded from his end. “I’m fine, mom. I want Bo to come have dinner with us tonight. I want to talk to both of you.”   Nora raised her eyebrows. “Both of us? Okay. Are you sure everything is all right?”   “Sure,” he answered.   “All right, then,” Nora answered. “You order the pizza and either Bo or I will pick it up. Love ya!”   Matthew returned the anticipated answer to their ‘Love you’ routine. “Meaning it.” he called back into the phone. “Bye mom.” Matthew hung up the phone and Nora handed Bo back his cell phone. “We’ve created another junk food junkie. I wonder what this is all about.”   Bo smiled at her comment. “Don’t know, but I guess we’ll find out tonight,” he said, returning the phone to his belt clip. She was standing close to him and all Bo could think about was how much he had missed her, how much he wanted to feel her against him again. But his heart seemed to flip flop every few seconds from the memory of their love to the memory of the pain. What a tug of war he was having within himself. He forced his heart to lock away those feelings again.   “Bo?” Nora’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. “We need to talk, about what’s going on between us.”   “I know,” he agreed, still not ready to start that conversation with her. It would be a long one, an emotional one, and he wasn’t ready. “Let’s help Matthew get through all of this and then we’ll talk about us.” He could see the disappointment in her eyes. “I promise, we will talk. Just not yet.” The disappointment was still there in her eyes, so he tried to distract her, speaking with a sly grin on his face. “Let’s flip a coin to see who picks up the pizza.”   Nora returned him a small smile and nodded slightly, looking away from him for a moment. She couldn’t force him to talk. But he was really tugging at her emotions. When she looked back at him, he reached his hand out for hers, his eyes staring intently into hers, waiting to see if she would take it. She slowly reached her hand out to link with his and he squeezed it gently as he led them back in the direction of the police station from Angel Square. Nora had to be content to have her hand in his.   To be continued…