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By Your Side (Part 3)   Last time:   "She gasped, fought not to cry out when he yanked her hair back with his free hand and the rough of his fingers scraped like a burn over the side of her throat. `please leave me, donòt hurt me, I beg you`. Tears of pain leaked out of her eyes and made her voice rasp. The fury and hate rolling out of him almost smothered her. He shoved her away so her back hit the wall. She cried out. She was petrified. She wanted to run away from his grip. He stepped closer to her and pushed her on the bed. He was laughing and then he bent over her. He was on top of her. She could feel him breathing on her face. She fought her tears back and kept begging to him `please leave me, let me go.. please..`. She felt him pressing his body against hers and tried to struggle. The fear was wild inside of her. Huge. Choking. He hit her, hard. The pain was so sharp it rushed through her. He hit her again. She felt blood. She closed her eyes. She wanted to die. His body was heavy on hers. She wanted to scream. She wanted him to leave her alone. She cried out".   She straightened up as she let out a scream. Her eyes fluttered open. Her body was wet from her sweat, her face from her tears. She brought her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and leaned her head down. Crying. Bo flew the door open and burst into her room. His heart broke to pieces when he saw her. He felt his own tears in his eyes. He slowly stepped towards her bed. He sat beside her and laid his hand down her shoulder. Her first instinct was to shove him away from her. He gently tried to reach to her again.   B: Hey, Nora, it’s me, Bo.. it’s just me..   She picked up her head and looked into his blue eyes. She saw pain in them but she also saw comfort. Protection. Concern. She clung to his body and wept.   N: Help me, please help me, Bo.. **************************************** Nora looked at Bo. Her eyes were begging. He couldn’t see what they were begging for, but he knew that whatever it was, he would be there for her and help her. She pressed her face against his body again and he slowly brought his arms around her. He wanted to cry with her but he couldn’t. He felt pain in his chest. The pain was so sharp it almost chocked him. He ran his hands down and up her back. His hands felt the wetness on her body from her sweat His heart was pounding in the same rhythm as hers. Fast but heavy. Her voice was cracking as she cried out for help.   N: Please help me, Bo.. help me..   He didn’t know what to say or do. He felt helpless. Useless. And it broke him. It hurt him. He pulled back a little so he could look at her. He hated it. He hated to see her cracked. She looked straight into his eyes. They were still begging. She brought her hand to her mouth. She felt sick. She started to get up from her bed, he followed her.   N: Oh, God, I’m not feeling well, I think I’m going to sick..   She ran to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She couldn’t fight off the sickness anymore and let it all come out. Let it empty her out. She wanted to feel empty. She wanted to feel nothing. She wanted to get rid of his touch on her, his breath on her face, the feeling of his body pressing against hers, his smiles and determined eyes asking for revenge. She just wanted to feel empty. Afterward she lay on the floor on the cool tiles and waited for the weakness to abate. She couldn’t cry anymore. She felt empty inside. Bo was sitting on her bed outside. He heard her. He wanted to reach her but he was scared. He was scared to see her in so much pain. He was scared to see her helpless. It pained him so much and he couldn’t do anything.   He got up and reached the bathroom door. He touched it lingeringly before he had the courage to open it. He slowly pushed the door open. When he saw her laying on the floor his first instinct was to go to her and hold her in his arms. He sat on the floor beside her, softly moving her so she rested her head on his lap. She didn’t talk or resist. He gently stroked her hair and started to sing to her, almost whispering.   “Come stop your crying It will be alright Just take my hand Hold it tight I will protect you From all around you I will be here Don't you cry   For one so small You seem so strong My arms will hold you Keep you safe and warm This bond between us Can't be broken I will be here don't you cry   Cause you'll be in my heart Yes, you'll be in my heart From this day on Now and forever more You'll be in my heart No matter what they say You'll be here in my heart Always.”   Nora didn’t move. She didn’t know if it was because she couldn’t or because she didn’t want to. She felt safe and protected in his arms. Being close to him, feeling her body against his didn’t have the same feeling as she had the other night and in her dreams. She enjoyed his closeness. She just wanted to stay like that forever. She wanted to feel protected forever. Her heart was pounding slower now. As so was his. Her mind was shifted to other places. Other times. Times she was happy once. Times she wanted to have again. They stayed there for what seemed like forever. They were both tired but none of them could close his eyes and drift into deep sleep. Then She got to her feet and Bo got up after her. She softly smiled and he knew she was telling him she was thankful.   B: Do you feel any better?   N: Yea, but I think I can use a nice long shower...   He smiled as he got her covered message telling him it was time for him to leave. He took a long look at her and went out. As he was leaving she felt nervous again. Something in him just made her calm. But now that he left the feeling filled her again. She wanted them to disappear again. She started to strip and felt like she couldn’t get her clothes off fast enough. She ran the shower hot almost too hot to bear and stepped into the vicious heat and steam. There, she let herself weep again. The water beat her on her skin and made her feel clean again. The tears washed away the scum of bitterness inside her. The smear of the disgust and ugliness being washed off her skin if not out of her mind. Then she turned her face up to the chilling spray and let in soothe.   When she was dry she used the towel to wipe the steam from the mirror. Without compassion, without excuses, she studied her face. Fear. Denial. Evasion. They were all there, she admitted. She wasn’t as brave as she pretended. She could see it in her image in front of her. And she hated it. She hated the image that was reflected back at her. She wanted to be herself again. The same woman she was before. Happy. Secure. Independent. Useful. She was not going to denial anymore that she didn’t need Bo`s help. Because she needed him. He made her feel safe and she needed that kind of feeling. She would get help and help herself to find herself again. Because she knew she was still there, deep inside of her, she just needed to search deeply into her soul. She was going to get her life back on the right track. She would take control over her life from now on. As difficult as it would be, she wasn’t going to let them ruin her.   She stepped out of the bathroom and put her nightgown on. Then pulling her robe over her body she went downstairs. Bo was standing beside the window, looking out. His mind was shifted to other place and he didn’t hear her near him. She gently touched his shoulder, startling him. He turned back and looked at her. She softly smiled.   N: Sorry I scared you, I didn’t mean too.   B: That’s ok. How are you feeling?   N: Good. Much more better.   He looked in her eyes and he could see something was different. They were still dark but there was a little spark in them. He was happy to see it. It was a good sign, he thought.   B: I’m glad. And you look like you feel better.   She paused for a moment. She searched the right words. She didn’t know where to start. She stepped towards the couch.   N: Why don’t we sit down for a moment?   He nodded and followed her. Sat beside her. They stared at one another before she started to talk again.   N: Look, Bo, yesterday when I was still at the hospital, I lied to you. To myself. Well, not consciously, I think it was more like denial but I wasn’t telling you the truth. I am afraid of this man whoever he is. I can see him in my mind and it feels real. As much as I wanted to feel empty earlier, I couldn’t. And I never will, not until we find him. I need your help, Bo. I don’t know why, but when you held me and sang to me earlier, I felt secure and relax. I need to find myself again, Bo. I hate the woman I became of. I want the old Nora again. I miss her. I can’t let them ruin my life. First it was Colin and Lindsay kidnapping me, then they used my memory, and then Colin became obsessed with me and tried to rape me, and now this. They all stole parts of me and now I feel like there is nothing left of me, of the woman I was. I hate being scared and fragile.   B: You are not fragile, Nora. You are strong woman.   N: No, you see, I used to be strong, but I’m not anymore. I hear the tiniest sound and my legs becoming weak, my body trembling.   B: You’ve gone through so much in such a short period. You can’t be hard on yourself. You need time. You need to take it easy.   N: Well, what I really need is to get this over and start building my life again. I need to take control now. I know it’s not going to be easy, and that’s why I need your help. I need you to lend out a hand to me when I fall. To remind me that I can do that. To work with me on this. To find him. I can’t do it by my own, but I will if I have to.   Bo softly smiled and took her hand in his. He gently squeezed it. Assuring her that she got his help. Always.   B: I will always be there for you, Red.   She smiled when he called her Red again. She knew she could count on him.   B: But do you really ready to take that step? It’s not gonna be easy at all. We have nothing so far. It can be despairing sometimes.   N: Ready or not, I have to do that. I can’t pretend that I’m ok anymore, because I’m not. I need to get my life back. Do you understand?   B: Yes, I do. Do you have a plan?   N: Well, first we have to figure out who he was and what I did to him. My wild guest is that he was my client in the past, I didn’t recognize his face, so I guess I knew him long ago. He also said that I always was brave in court. That I was still pretty as he remembered me.   B: This is a good guess. We need to get through old cases you had maybe we can find something.   N: Yea. I think so too.   They looked through her old files, searching for anything that could lead them to that man. After hours of searching, Nora sank back into the couch and exhaled in despair.   N: Nothing. Who the hell was he? We’ve searched for hours and there is nothing that can tell us who he was.   Bo sat on the floor while the couch supported his back. He wasn’t paying attention to her. He was reading carefully the file he was holding. She watched him.   N: What? Did you find anything?   B: Shh.. just hold on...   But she couldn’t hold on. She needed to know what he found out. She slipped to the floor and sat beside him. Trying to glance at the file.   N: What is it?   He showed her the file.   B: Look at this. Eric J. Brady. You were defending him back in Chicago. He raped his girlfriend and then murdered her. You lost the case.   N: Wait a minute, I remember him. It was in my first years as a lawyer. It was the first murder case I had. We lost the case. He was guilty. They found the weapon with his fingertips on it. And they found his D.N.A on the girl. He blamed me for losing the case. That I didn’t protect him as I should have. That I didn’t believe in him.   Bo pointed at the file.   B: Look at this date. He got off six months ago. When did you start getting those calls?   N: Hmmm, two weeks ago, I think.   B: Well it gave him the time to do some research on you. Found out where you were living.. what you were doing..   N: Oh, God, you think it was him?   B: I don’t know. Look at his picture. Does he look familiar to you?   N: I don’t know. They in the same height I think. He had dark hair and eyes too. But I’m not sure, the last time I saw him was years ago. And when this man attacked me, I was dizzy and scared. I passed out twice. I can’t remember his face clearly. I have to see his face again to be sure.   B: Ok, give me a few minutes to call my office and see what I can find on him.   N: Sure.   Bo dialed the police station. He gave them the details he had and asked for more information. He listened carefully and asked questions. Nora carefully watched him and tried to catch some of their talk. She was nervous and scared. She just needed to know that they were finally on the right track. Bo hang up the phone and looked at Nora. She looked at him, waiting for him to spill out everything he knew.   N: Well?   B: He was freed six months ago. My men did a research and they found out that he left Chicago. He wanted to be with his family again.   N: And..? That’s all?   B: Nope. Guess where his is family living.. Llanview.   Nora got up to her knees. She shook her head.   N: You’ve got to be kidding me!   B: No.   N: You think it was him?   B: I don’t know. My cops talked to his probation officer, he told them that Eric owns partly some nightclub in the area. He is also bartender there. I guess I can go there and put my hands on him..   N: And do what? Kill him?   B: That’s a good idea..   N: Well, we don’t have any evidence against him, Bo. It’s all circumstantial. You can’t arrest him or let him know we suspect him. If it was really him, he will come back, you just needed to see the look in his eyes, Bo. He was so determined to get back in me. He will not give up and we can’t scare him off now. We need to be smarter than he is. We need to think with our brains, not with our heart.   Bo was amazed. After all she’s gone through she could still stay calm and cool. He wanted to kill that man, to smash him up. He knew she felt the same but he was amazed about the way she could restrain her feelings and think clearly.   B: You are amazing, Nora. I only want to smash him up and you are all calm. At least in the outside.   N: Maybe, but inside I’m scared and weak. I barely control my feelings. But we have to focus on our goal. We have to catch him. And threw him away back in the place he’s deserved to be.   B: But you do, and it’s amazing. You are amazing.   N: Well, I got your support, didn’t I?   B: So what are we going to now?   N: I don’t know. Don’t you have a plan?   He thought for a minute and then smiled.   B: I guess that bringing him to the station so you can see his face again isn’t a good idea.   N: Nope. We don’t have evidences against him, we will never win the case. No jury will convict him just by relying on my memory of that night. He will be freed but more cautious if he knows we’re after him. We need to find something that can help us first. We have to be careful but fast enough before he tries again, because God knows how determined he was.   B: You’re right. We have to find something on him and we have to do it fast.   He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was going to get himself in such troubles but he had to do it. For Nora’s sake. For his son’s sake.   B: I can’t believe I’m offering this, but what do you think about working undercover with me?   N: What do you mean?   B: They said he works in a nightclub. How do you feel about going dancing?   Nora smiled. She could see where he was striving to.   N: Well, I don’t think I will be able to sleep anyway so I guess I’d say let’s go!   B: Are you sure you’ll be ok? I mean if he is our guy, you can’t let anyone know it. And it will be hard. You can’t panic on me. No one can know that we’re going after him. We must be careful.   N: I’ll be all right.   B: And remember, you must listen to me. You won’t leave my side for even a second, clear?   She nodded. N: Yes.   B: So let’s change and go see if you can recognize him.     To be continued...