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Crisis & Catharsis -- Part XXII Matthew chattered on in the back of the car, about the sky, the trees, the road, the signs, and anything else that caught his eye. Bo finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Matthew! I have a game we can play.”   Matthew sat forward in his seat. “What kind of game?”   Bo looked in the mirror. “It’s kind of a hunting game. You look for deer along the roadside. You have to be REALLY quiet or you won’t see them. They can hear you talk so you have to be completely quiet. Can you do that?”   Matthew nodded. “Sure I can.”   Bo grinned. “Okay, and when we get to the lodge, you can tell me how many you saw. Deal?”   Matthew sat back, looking out the window. “Deal.”   “Remember, silence.” Bo reminded him.   Matthew nodded but didn’t reply. Bo looked at Nora with a sly smile. “You’re terrible,” she mouthed. Bo nodded and put his finger to his lips. Nora smiled and mouthed, “Thank you.”   They rode in silence the rest of the trip, Matthew with his face pressed to the window, searching for the elusive deer. Soon Bo turned into the driveway of the lodge. Matthew looked out the front window. “Hey! We’re here. I didn’t see any deer yet.”   Bo grinned. “You must have made too much noise.”   Matthew shook his head. “No I didn’t. I was quiet!”   Bo pulled to a stop in front of the lodge. “We can try again on the way back, buddy.”   Matthew pulled open his door. “I don’t like this game,” he grumbled as he jumped out.   Bo grinned as he climbed out and held Matthew’s door, closing the door as Matthew trudged up the porch steps, turning to wait for Bo to help Nora out of her side. Bo followed Nora up the steps and inserted his key in the lock, turning off the alarm and holding the door open as Matthew marched in ahead of Nora.   Matthew headed straight for the poker table. “This is so cool. Can we play while we’re here, dad?”   Nora sat on the couch. “Maybe later, sweetie. Right now, we need to talk to you, okay?”   Matthew went over and sat beside her on the couch. “Are you gonna tell me why you were in the hospital?”   Nora nodded. “Yes, I am.” She looked over at Bo. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I needed to make sure I had all the information and I wanted your daddy to be with me so we could talk to you together."   Matthew looked at Bo, who was standing over by the fireplace. “Is it bad?”   Bo walked over to the couch, crouching in front of Matthew. “Not anymore, buddy.”   Matthew turned to Nora. “Are you still sick and you just didn’t want to tell me while you were still in the hospital?”   Nora took him in her arms. “No, Matthew. I’m finished with hospitals now. And no more dizzy spells.”   Matthew looked unsure. “You promise?”   Nora nodded. “Yes, sweetie. I promise.”   Matthew looked between Bo and Nora. “What happened? Why was mom getting sick?”   Nora looked at Bo. “Well…”   “I should tell him, Nora,” Bo interrupted as he sat beside Matthew on the couch.   Matthew turned his attention to Bo. “Does this have to do with you breaking up with Paige?”   Bo was surprised by the question. “Who told you that?”   Matthew took a deep breath. “Rachel said I should ask you about it but she thought I wouldn’t have to worry about whether I liked being around Paige because maybe you were breaking up.”   Bo glanced at Nora before addressing Matthew. “Well, that’s part of the story but let’s back up and start from the beginning. You know that Paige was baking lots of cookies, right?” Matthew nodded. “Well, it turns out that the cookies were making your mom sick.”   “How?” Matthew asked innocently.   “There was poison in the cookies,” Bo said quietly.   Matthew’s eyes got big. “Paige was poisoning mom? Why would she do that to mom?”   Bo shook his head. “I can’t answer that, Matthew.”   “Did you know what Paige was doing to mom?”   Again Bo shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”   “But she was your girlfriend. You let her move in with you and you didn’t have any idea what she was doing?” Matthew demanded.   Bo remained calm. “No, Matthew, I didn’t know. I would never have allowed Paige to hurt your mom if I knew what was in the cookies. I swear.”   Matthew’s mind shifted. “Am I sick too? Is that why Dr. Michael took my blood?”   Nora put her arms around Matthew. “No, Matthew. Michael said you’re okay, remember?”   Matthew nodded. “Yes, but you said the cookies made you sick. I ate them too. Maybe I’m just not sick yet.”   Nora looked at Bo, who avoided her eyes. “It was the ginger cookies, Matthew. Just the ginger cookies.”   Matthew shrugged. “Oh. I didn’t like those ones.”   Nora nodded. “That’s right. So you’re okay. You don’t have to worry about getting sick.”   Matthew turned his attention to Bo. “Did you eat them? Are you gonna get sick like mom did?”   Bo shook his head. “No, son. I had my blood tested just like you did and I’m okay. We’re all okay now.”   “Did Paige know her cookies were making mom sick?”   Bo looked at Nora over Matthew’s head before addressing his son. “I honestly don’t know if she did, Matthew. She says she didn’t.”   Matthew turned to Nora. “Do you think she did it on purpose, mom?”   Nora shook her head. “I don’t know either, Matthew. All I know is that Michael figured out that there was Hemlock in the cookies. Hemlock is a poison and it was making me sick.”   Matthew turned back to Bo. “Did Paige want mom to be sick so I could live with you all the time instead of just some of the time?”   Bo watched Matthew carefully before taking a deep breath. “Maybe. I honestly don’t know why Paige would want to hurt your mom, Matthew.”   Matthew jumped off the couch. “I don’t want to live with Paige at all. And I don’t want to be around you either if I have to see her.”   Bo reached for Matthew but he jumped back. “Matthew, you don’t have to be around Paige anymore. She’s moving out of the garret. We’re not together anymore.”   Matthew shook his head. “You kept telling me how great she was. We spent all our time with her and she kept talking about us being a family. And all that time she was poisoning mom. I hate her!”   Matthew ran from the room, slamming the front door on his way outside. Bo moved to follow him but Nora grabbed his arm. “Let him go, Bo. He just needs to blow off steam and be by himself.” She smiled at him. “He’s like his father that way.”   Bo frowned. “Don’t remind me.”   Nora smiled. “He’ll be okay. I’ll go talk to him in a bit.” She turned and looked out the window. Matthew was in the front yard whacking at a tree with a stick. “Let him take out some of his anger on Asa’s oak tree. It will help him cool down.”   Bo walked over to the bar, pouring himself a drink. “Want some?”   Nora shook her head. “I don’t think that’s part of my recovery routine.”   Bo nodded. “Right. Sorry. Guess I don’t know what’s best for anyone these days.”   Nora watched him as he downed his drink. “What do you mean?”   Bo turned to her. “I mean I’ve messed up a lot of lives.” Nora laughed derisively. “You sure give yourself a lot of credit, Buchanan. You don’t have that kind of power.”   Bo looked at her closely. “Paige is in our lives because of me. You’ve been scared that you wouldn’t get to see your son grow up. That doesn’t happen if I wasn’t with Paige. And now Matthew has to deal with the betrayal of another adult in his life. His childhood is messed up and it's my fault.”   Nora shook her head. “Stop beating yourself up, Bo. Both of us are to blame for what’s happening right now. If I had been honest with you about my feelings instead of hiding behind Daniel, we’d be in very different places right now.”   Bo poured himself another drink. “I never would have asked Paige out if I hadn’t been trying to make you jealous. And obviously, it worked.”   Nora nodded, impressed by his honesty. “I kinda figured that’s what was going on. But instead of confronting you, I pushed forward with Daniel. I knew it was a stupid thing to do but there was no way I was going to admit that to you.”   Bo looked at her sadly. “And Matthew pays the price.”   Nora looked away. “Yeah. I’m not proud of that. But I don’t think beating ourselves up is going to score any points with our son. From my standpoint, the ONLY thing that matters in my life at the moment is him. WE have messed up his childhood and we don’t get a chance to go back and do it over. The best we can do is make sure it’s better for him from here on out.”   Bo nodded. “I know. I think it would be best if we made a pact to forbid any new people coming into his life for the foreseeable future.”   Nora nodded as she looked around the lodge. “Agreed. Besides, he still has to contend with Asa. And there’s no way to get him out of Matthew’s life.”   Bo grinned. “Yeah and he is a handful. Come to think of it, the reason I met Paige is because she was Asa’s doctor. So technically, most of this is his fault.”   Nora laughed. “I’d love it if we could blame all of this on Asa.” She turned to Bo with a serious look. “You know, Matthew is crazy about Asa. You’re going to have to keep an eye on those two. I’m counting on you to keep Asa in line.”   Bo shook his head. “Has anyone ever kept Asa in line?”   “I guess you have a point,” Nora sighed. “Then again, how can Asa mess him up more than we already have all on our own?”   Bo walked over to look out the window. Matthew was sitting at the foot of the oak, hitting the ground with his stick. Nora came to stand beside him. “I’ll go talk to him,” she said.   Bo watched her walk to the door. “Thanks, Nora. Good luck.”   Nora walked over to Matthew with a smile. “Hey, buddy. What did that grass ever do to you?”   Matthew ignored her, continuing to swat at the ground with his stick. Nora crouched beside him and took a seat, leaning back against the big oak tree. She sat quietly for a while, waiting for Matthew to acknowledge her. Finally he looked at her with a sigh. “Did he send you out here?”   Nora shook her head. “No, I volunteered. I wanted to talk to you.”   Matthew threw his stick away. “I don’t wanna talk.” Nora nodded with a smile. “I figured. When you do that, you’re just like your father.”   Matthew shook his head vehemently. “I’m NOT like him!”   Nora nodded. “Okay, if you say so.”   Matthew sat quietly for a few more minutes before turning to her. “Why aren’t you mad?”   Nora looked at him softly. “I am mad. But not at Bo. Because it’s not his fault.”   “How can you say that?” Matthew demanded.   Nora looked off in the distance. “Because he’s not responsible for what Paige did. He had no idea she was hurting me.”   Matthew shook his head. “But he didn’t care that you were sick until that day you fainted and he drove us to the hospital.”   Nora shrugged. “Maybe. But he also had no reason to believe that Paige wanted to hurt me.”   Matthew looked at her defiantly. “Well, I’m mad at him for the way he treated you.”   Nora nodded slowly. “And that’s your right, Matthew. I would never tell you that you can’t be mad at your dad or anyone else. You are entitled to your feelings.”   Matthew nodded grudgingly. “Okay.”   Nora turned to him. “But I would like to point out that he feels pretty bad right now too. This is just as hard on him as it is on you.”   “But it’s his fault!” Matthew whined.   Nora shook her head. “Not really. This is Paige’s fault. All of us were hurt by what she did. And it’s worse for your dad because he probably loved Paige. And when you love someone, they hurt you more. Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to be angry at him when he’s hurting just as much as we are?”   Matthew shrugged. “I guess.”   Nora smiled softly. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t be angry at your dad if that’s how you feel. But maybe when you calm down a little you could try to see things from his point of view?”   Matthew shrugged again. “Maybe.”   Nora smiled. “That’s all I ask. Look at me Matthew.” He turned to face her and she took his face in her hands. “You are the most important person in my life. I love you with all my heart. I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for what you’ve been through this year. But I can promise that from now on, my main priority is you. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure that you are happy, okay?”   Matthew nodded. “I love you too, mom.”   Nora held out her arms. “How about a hug for your old mom?”   Matthew gave her a lopsided grin, throwing his arms around her neck. “Can we go home now?”   Nora pulled back from him. “If that’s what you want.” Matthew nodded. “I thought you wanted to play poker at Grandpa’s table?”   Matthew shook his head. “Not anymore. I just wanna go home.”   “Okay, sweetie. We can head back into town. Let’s go get your dad.”   Matthew took Nora’s hand and they walked back into the lodge. Bo looked up expectantly when he heard the door open. Nora walked in ahead of Matthew. He held back, keeping his head down, refusing to look at Bo. Nora glanced down at him before addressing Bo. “Matthew would like to go back to Llanview.”   Bo nodded. “Sure, if that’s what he wants.”   Matthew turned back to the door. “I’ll wait in the car, mom,” he said as he walked outside.   Bo looked at Nora. “Well?”   Nora shook her head. “He’s not ready to talk to you, Bo. I’m sorry.”   Bo nodded. “It’s okay. I understand that he’s angry and it’s pretty natural to take it out on me since he won’t be around Paige any longer.” He tossed her the keys. “Why don’t you drive back. I had a couple more bourbons while you two were outside.”   Nora nodded as she grabbed the keys. “Are you okay?” Bo shook his head. “No, but thanks for asking. Let’s get Matthew home.”   Bo followed Nora out, setting the alarm and locking the door behind them. They drove back to Llanview in silence.   TBC