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Crisis & Catharsis -- Part III Bo walked dejectedly into the garret. He poured himself a bourbon and switched on the CD player, the sounds of classic rock filling the room. How better to clear your head than with a little Rolling Stones? Bo slumped onto the couch, downing his drink in one swallow. He heaved himself off the couch and returned with the bottle, filling the glass again. He felt so helpless. How did this happen? Why was this happening again? Hadn’t Nora learned her lesson the last time? As he thought back to the fear of that time of his life, he understood what his son was going through right now. And Matthew was too young to deal with that kind of fear alone. Bo drained his glass again. He could get drunk, but he couldn’t drown out the memories filling his mind. Attending Max and Luna’s wedding alone, coercing Selma into confessing that Nora wasn’t in Chicago, demanding that Rachel tell him where her mother was. The lump in his throat upon learning that Nora was in surgery. His anger at Hank for concealing the truth. The terror he felt looking through the window and seeing her unconscious with a huge bandage around her head. His relief when she could see him. Their time at the beach house. Todd at the beach house…   How could this history be repeating itself? Bo knew it was his own fault. He had pushed her away and made it clear to her that he would never allow her back into his heart. He would never admit it, but he had taken a bit of satisfaction from getting Daniel and showing Nora how wrong she had been. On a conscious level, he hadn’t wanted to hurt her but underneath, he couldn’t deny that seeing in her eyes what he had felt in his gut when he found out about Sam, had given him a sense of revenge he hadn’t realized he wanted. Nora had known it immediately. She still knew him better than anyone. He hurt her deeply and in typical Nora style, she had retreated. And while he was busy getting on with his life with Paige, he had turned a blind eye on what he suspected was happening with Nora. He knew her well, too. He knew the dizzy spells could be something more and he had chosen to ignore it.   And now he was paying the price for that choice. Matthew refused to go with him tonight. His own son accused him of abandoning his mother. Bo knew Matthew’s words were the result of his fear after Nora’s collapse. What troubled him more was the look in his son’s eyes. It was more than just anger, it was betrayal and distrust. Matthew didn’t believe in him and that broke his heart. Bo had gotten a late start with Matthew but he had worked so hard to make up for it and be a steady presence in Matthew’s life. Now he knew he hadn’t made as much progress as he’d hoped. Matthew hadn’t confided in him about Nora’s health issue. And he believed that Bo was grooming Paige to be Nora’s replacement. Bo was pleased that Matthew accepted Paige but he never imagined her as a replacement for Nora. Bo was acutely aware of Matthew’s attachment to his mother. Truth be told, he envied Nora’s closeness with their son. Did that envy cause him to want to punish Nora in the wake of the Daniel disaster? Had he hoped that Nora’s choices with Daniel would drive a wedge between her and her son? Bo didn’t think so, but at the moment, he couldn’t be sure of anything.   Bo looked down and discovered the bottle was empty. In the midst of his soul searching, he had drained it. But he didn’t feel any better. And he didn’t have any answers. He still didn’t know what he was going to do in the morning to begin the process of fixing his relationship with his son, but he knew he had to begin by getting Nora to confide in him. That was going to take some work. He had done a lot of damage in the past few years. But Bo now admitted there was a problem and that was the first step in solving it. He sighed heavily as he headed to bed. Tomorrow he would begin the process of healing – for Nora, for Matthew and for himself.   Nora woke early as the sun peeked through her window. She had slept restlessly through the night, in between visits from the hospital staff to check on her, take blood and generally annoy her. She wondered how anyone could ever get better in a hospital. She glanced at the clock – 6:30 a.m. She knew Matthew would be up. She smiled as she picked up the phone and called home.   Matthew answered after the first ring. “Hi Mom!”   Nora smiled into the phone. “Hiya handsome. How are you this morning?”   “I’m great!”   “Great? Why is that?” Nora chuckled at his exuberance so early in the day.   “I have a surprise for you!”   “You do? What kind of surprise?”   Matthew laughed. “Mom! I can’t tell you or it won’t be a surprise. But I know you will like it.”   “You do, huh? Well, if it’s from my favorite guy, I know I will.”   Matthew grew serious. “Are you coming home today?”   As Matthew asked his question, Michael McBain swung through the door. “I’m not sure, but the doctor just came in, so I’ll ask him and call you back.”   “Okay, Mom. Love you!”   “Love you too, sweetie. Bye.” Nora dropped the phone into its cradle and turned her attention to Michael, who was frowning as he studied her chart.   “That’s not a very promising look, doctor. My son wants to know if I can go home today. I’d like to know that as well.”   Michael looked up from the chart. “I’d like you to stay for more tests, Nora. There are some things here that just don’t add up…”   At that moment, Paige breezed through the door, phony smile plastered on her face. “Good morning, Nora. How are you feeling today?” Before Nora could answer, she turned her attention to Michael. “What doesn’t add up, Dr. McBain?”   “Take a look at this chart. Something looks off to me.”   Paige took the chart from Michael and scanned it. She looked up, smiling as she shook her head. “I don’t see a problem. I think Nora should be able to go home today.”   Nora smiled. “That’s great news, Paige. Matthew will be thrilled.”   “I’ll go get the paperwork started and we’ll get you out of here.”   Paige moved to the door, glancing back at Michael with a smile. “Coming Dr. McBain?”   “In a minute, I just need to make a few notations in Nora’s chart.”   Paige disappeared out the door and Michael turned to Nora. “Something is off with your blood workup, Nora. I would like to run a few more tests before we spring you.”   Nora sighed. “Are you kidding me? Paige just said she didn’t see anything unusual. If she’s not worried, why are you?”   “I’m not sure yet. I just want to do this to be on the safe side. Can you just humor me?”   Nora nodded slowly. “If it will explain why the world keeps swaying before my eyes, I’m game.”   Michael smiled. “Thanks. I promise it will be relatively painless and then we can rule out a few more things and figure out this mystery.”   Michael left to order the blood tests. Paige was at the nurse’s station when Michael gave his orders to the nurse. Paige smiled at him. “What are you doing, Dr. McBain?”   “I want a tox screen and another blood test for Nora.”   Paige shook her head, still smiling. “I already said more tests weren’t necessary and she could be released. Are you challenging my diagnosis?”   “No, but we haven’t pinned down the cause of her dizziness and fainting. I just want to play a couple possibilities. What’s the harm in having another look?” Paige continued to smile at him. “Because you are a resident and I am the Chief of Staff and you do not usurp my orders on a patient, Dr. McBain. I have the paperwork here for her release. I expect you to sign off on it and forget your fishing expedition.”   Paige dropped the paperwork onto the desk and stalked away. The nurse on duty watched her leave. “She’s a barracuda with a smile, isn’t she? Bitch.”   Michael tried to hide his grin as he nodded. “I’m going to go talk to my patient. Keep these orders for the blood work, will you?”   The nurse nodded. “Anything to stick it to old smiley,” she snarked.   Michael laughed out loud as he headed back to Nora’s room. She was resting when he entered but her eyes fluttered open when she heard the door move. Michael moved to the side of her bed.   “I need to talk to you, Nora,” he whispered. Nora looked at him strangely. “Why are you whispering?”   “I need to ask you a favor. Dr. Miller is denying my request for additional blood work. I would like to do it anyway, with your permission.”   “Why would she not want additional blood work? We still don’t know why I fainted. If you have a theory, I’m open to anything.”   Michael nodded. “I feel that way too. But Dr. Miller is convinced your tests were all negative and she has cleared you to leave. I have a friend in the lab. If you let me take the blood, I’ll handle it from there.”   Nora was perplexed by Paige’s refusal to listen to Michael’s recommendation. “Okay, if you think that’s best. It sounds like doctors are the same as lawyers when it comes to protecting their territory and not listening to anyone else’s ideas. You can have your blood if I can get out of here.”   Michael smiled. “Deal. I’ll send the nurse in right away and then you can rest until we spring you.”   Michael hurried out of her room and the nurse came in shortly after and drew the requested blood. Nora settled back, closing her eyes to get some rest before they released her. When she heard the door open again, she laughed. “Finally! Am I sprung…” She stopped mid sentence when she saw who was at her door.   Bo smiled cautiously. “Does that mean you’re getting out of here?”   Nora’s good mood disappeared. “What are you doing here, Bo?”   Bo stood just inside the door. “I thought you might need a lift home. And if not, maybe you might want some company…”   “I don’t need your company, Bo.”   “Nora, please. We need to talk about this. It’s affecting Matthew. You can’t shut me out anymore. I have to know what is going on so I can help Matthew…” Bo hesitated before adding quietly, “and you.”   Nora continued to shake her head as Bo spoke. “I don’t need your help, Bo. But I will concede that Matthew does. I’m sorry that he is taking out his fear for me on you. I didn’t realize he would respond that way. I promise you I have never given him the impression that this is your fault.”   “I know that. But you keeping me out of the loop has given him the idea that I don’t care what happens to you.”   Nora couldn’t meet his eyes. “I guess I should have thought of that.”   Bo shook his head. “Please, Nora. I’m not here to place blame. I need to know what is going on so we can deal with this. Why are you having the dizzy spells?” Bo hesitated before voicing his biggest fear. “Are the tumors back?”   Nora shook her head slowly. “No, not the tumors this time. At least as far as I’ve been told. The truth is, they don’t know why I’m fainting. Maybe that’s why I didn’t tell you. I don’t know why it’s happening. I guess I’m just as scared as Matthew is. And not knowing what’s wrong is the worst.”   Bo was pleased that Nora was admitting her fear. That was a good first step. He proceeded cautiously. “Who is your doctor?”   “I’ve had several, actually. Paige is helping at this time but I’ve seen everybody.”   Bo nodded. “Paige is an excellent doctor but if she can’t figure it out, we’ll find someone who can. I’ll make some calls if you would like.”   Nora shook her head. “I don’t want you to do that. I would appreciate if you could talk to Matthew and help him with this.”   “Of course I will help Matthew. But I need you to know that I will do what I can to help you too. If you will…” Bo stopped as Nora looked past him and a huge smile lit her face. “Rachel! What are you doing here?”   Rachel brushed past Bo and went to Nora’s bedside, gathering her in a fierce hug. “Mom, it’s so good to see you.”   Nora pulled back and took Rachel’s face in her hands. “How did you find out?”   Rachel looked at her mother and they said it together, “Matthew!”   Nora chuckled and pulled her daughter close again. “He said he had a surprise. I had no idea this is what he meant.”   “Matthew called late last night and woke me up to tell me. Why didn’t you call?”   “It all happened so fast and since we don’t know anything yet, I didn’t want to worry you.” Bo watched quietly from the bottom of the bed, allowing mother and daughter to have their moment. He thought how typical it was of Nora to be reluctant to reach out for help. In a strange way, he felt better knowing he wasn’t the only person who had been kept in the dark.   Rachel frowned at Nora. “Mom, I’m supposed to worry. And Matthew was right to call me. Why should he worry about this all by himself?”   Nora looked at her daughter with tears welling in her eyes, realizing how unfair she had been to her son. “I’m sorry, Rachel.”   Rachel shook her head. “I know you are. It’s typical of you not to want anyone to worry.” She turned her attention to Bo. “Did you know about this?”   Bo shook his head. “No. I was dropping Matthew off last night when your mother collapsed, so I brought her here.”   Rachel looked at Bo with contempt. “I would guess this wasn’t the first time you’ve witnessed her symptoms though, was it?” Bo slowly shook his head. “And you didn’t do a thing about it, did you?” Rachel didn’t wait for Bo to respond. “No, you didn’t. I think you should leave now. I can take care of my mother from here.” Bo started to object when Nora jumped in. “I’m fine now, Bo. Thank you for coming by. MaryAnn is bringing Matthew in a little while. I’ll talk to him. Maybe he can call you later?”   Bo thought about arguing but saw the challenging look in Rachel’s eyes and decided there was nothing to be gained by pushing the issue right now. “I’d like that. I’ll stop by once you’re at home. Take care of yourself.”   Bo left the room. Rachel turned her attention back to Nora. “He completely ignored your symptoms, didn’t he?”   Nora held up her hand. “Rachel, please. I can’t have this discussion right now. Bo is Matthew’s father, he will be involved, whether I like it or not.”   Rachel recognized her mother shutting down and changed the subject. “Okay, we can table that for now. Who is your doctor? What are they saying? Do I need to rattle some cages?”   Nora smiled at her daughter’s take-charge attitude. So much like me, she thought. “Slow down, Rachel. I have been to several doctors. We’re still working on finding the cause of my dizziness.”   Right on cue, Paige pushed through the door with her plastic smile on her face. “We will figure it out, Nora.” She looked at Rachel. “Only family is allowed in for visits.”   Nora grabbed Rachel’s arm to keep her from rushing Paige. “This is my daughter, Rachel. Rachel, my doctor, Dr. Miller.”   Paige held out her hand, smiling even more broadly. “Paige, please. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Your mother talks about you all the time.”   Rachel eyed her suspiciously and ignored her hand. “You’re working on my mother’s case?” Paige nodded, continuing to smile broadly. “Why haven’t you been able to figure out what’s causing her dizziness and fainting?”   “We’re eliminating causes, Rachel. Sometimes it takes time to figure these things out. I assure you, your mother is getting the best care possible.” She turned her attention to Nora, ignoring Rachel’s frown as she grinned at Nora. “Your paperwork is ready, you can get out of here.”   Rachel stared at her incredulously. “You don’t know what’s wrong and you’re letting her go? What kind of doctor are you?”   Nora tugged at Rachel’s arm again. “It’s okay, Rachel. I’d rather be at home while they figure this out.”   Paige nodded, smiling at Nora. “That’s probably the best place for you. Just get plenty of rest and no work for at least a week. I want to see you back here next week or sooner if it happens again. Okay?”   Nora nodded. “Thanks, Paige. I am happy to get out of here.”   Paige smiled broadly. “I like my patients to be happy. Take care and I’ll be in touch. I’ll send over a batch of my cookies to cheer you up. Give Matthew my love.” She turned on her heel and left. Rachel turned to her mother.   “Plastic Barbie is your doctor?”   Nora laughed out loud. “Rachel, you’re terrible. She is also Bo’s latest and possibly Matthew’s next stepmother.”   Rachel finally put it together. “That’s Paige. Matthew talks about her all the time. He said she was chirpy but I thought he was exaggerating.”   Nora cracked up. “Well, he’s told his father that he likes her.”   Rachel shook her head. “And she bakes, I take it? In an ‘Easy Bake’ oven, I presume?”   Nora nearly fell off the bed laughing. She grabbed Rachel in a hug. “It’s so good to have you here! It's so good to laugh.”   Rachel dissolved into giggles too and that’s how Matthew found them when he swung through the door. “What’s so funny?”   Nora and Rachel tried desperately to control their laughter. Rachel reached for her little brother. “Nothing. We’re just happy to see each other. How are you? You’re getting so tall!”   Matthew squirmed as Rachel hugged him. “Come on, Rach. I saw you this summer. I didn’t grow any since then.”   Rachel pinched his cheeks. “I’ll decide if you’ve grown or not. Thanks for calling me.”   Matthew turned his attention to Nora. “Were you surprised to see Rachel? I wanted to be here when she got here but MaryAnn made me clean my room.”   Nora nodded as Matthew climbed up on the bed and she gave him a hug. “It was a wonderful surprise. Now I have my two favorite people with me, I’m sure I’ll feel better in no time.”   Matthew pulled back to look at Nora. “Dad didn’t come and upset you, did he?”   Nora glanced at Rachel before addressing Matthew. “Your dad was here, but no, he did not upset me. We have to talk about your dad, Matthew.”   Matthew shook his head. “I don’t want to talk to him, I told you that last night. He called while I was cleaning my room but I told MaryAnn to tell him I wasn’t home. He doesn’t care about you and I don’t want him bugging me.”   Rachel was shocked by Matthew’s words. “Hey, little brother, that’s your dad you’re talking about.”   “He may be my dad but he doesn’t care about mom so I don’t want him around her, upsetting her,” Matthew shot back.   Nora pulled him into her arms and shook her head at Rachel. “We have a lot to talk about, all of us.”   “Except dad,” Matthew interjected.   “All of us,” Nora reiterated. “But this isn’t the place to have that discussion. I am being sprung from here so why don’t you guys head down to the cafeteria for a soda while I get dressed and we can get out of here?”   “Mom’s right,” Rachel said, reaching for Matthew’s hand.   Matthew reluctantly took it and jumped down from the bed. Rachel led him out of the room. When the door closed behind them, Nora took a deep breath, trying to hold back her tears. How was she going to be brave for her kids when she was so scared herself? She had never felt more alone in her life.   TBC