What Am I Doing

The music began to play....dum, dum,de-dum...dum, dum, de-dum. The groom stood at the front of the church, looking towards the back. Nothing happened. Again, he heard the music, and when his bride started walking up the isle, this time he heard dumb, dumb, de-dumb...dumb...Dumb...de-DUMB!!! Bo could not believe it. Melanie wasn't even wearing a wedding dress, well, at least not to him. She had on beautiful long flowing chiffon skirt, but the bodice was a freakin tank top. What is it with tank tops, Bo thought to himself. I already know that her arms are toned! Too bad her brain isn't. How in the world she became a surgeon was beyond him.

As he watched her walk, or should I say skip down the isle, Bo began to panic. What in the world have you gotten yourself into Buchanan. You had it all, and you let it get away. You let your stupid pride get in the way, and let Nora go. It's your own damn fault that this is what your ending up with, buddy.

As Melanie skipped towards him, Bo's mind raced. My God, she doesn't even know how to eat. A meal to her is dipping bread into cheese. And that hair. I loved running my hands through Nora's red hair. I can't even get my fingers into Melanie's. There is nothing there except string...flat, flat string. Heck, the other day a handful of it came out in my fingers!

Melanie was giddy! She had forgotten to tie one of her laces on her sneakers, and tripped right into Bo's arms. All she could say was "hehehehehe!!! Bo, will you always be there to catch me when I fall? Hehehehehe!!!"

Bo turned around and smiled embarrasingly to his guests. Man, can this get any worse. That's when he spotted Nora. Oh my God, she was beautiful. Their eyes locked for what seemed like eternity. Nora gave him a huge smile and the old thumbs up.

She hated that Bo was marrying Melanie, but she wanted him to be happy, and if Melanie was the one that could make him happy, then so be it. Her heart was breaking, but Bo had moved on, and he had made it very clear that he didn't love her in the same way that she loved him. If this blonde ditz was his intellectual equal, and could make him happy on all levels, then he could have her. She doesn't even know how to plan a wedding. Tank top...wrong...big white Mum clipped on top her head....wrong...bald spot the size of my fist...wrong...giggling like a 4 year old that heard the ice cream truck...wrong.

Andrew began to speak, and Bo realized where he was, standing in the front of a church, while the woman he wanted, no... needed... in his life, was at the back. And next to him was his "flavor of the week". "Hurry, hurry, hurry, Andrew, I really need to go pee" Melanie giggled.

Everyone in the church began to laugh. Melanie turned around and curtsied to them all. Bo had never in his life been so mortified as he was right now. Nora gave him a little wave, accompanied by a look of pity. He didn't want to be pittied, especially by Nora. At least she was smart enough to kick Sam to the gutter!

Andrew asked everyone, "Is there anyone here that can think of a reason these two shouldn't be married?" Everyone in the church squirmed, coughed, giggled....but no one said a word. Nora's heart was about to explode from her chest. Please, please please, don't do it Bo.

As Andrew continued, Melanie turned around and gave everyone a big old grin, threw her arms up in the air, lunged down to one knee, and yelled "superstar"! (okay, that was a Mary Catherine Gallagher from Saturday Night Live for anyone who doesn't know) And with that, worse did get worse for Bo. He looked at her, she blew a big bubble, sucked it back into her mouth, and made that popping sound for several seconds!

Bo snapped. "That's it, no more, this circus is over!! Melanie, I want a wife, a lover, a friend, a companion. I am not a babysitter. I don't need this, and I don't want this. I want what I threw away, I want Nora!" With that, Bo ran to the back of the church where Nora stood, grabbed her up into his arms, and ran back to the alter. As he put Nora down, everyone in the church stood up and gave Bo and Nora an ovation. Melanie, of course, thought it was for her, and started jumping up and down clapping.

"Melanie, I'm sorry, but we're through", Bo said.

"Oh, Bo, you're so funny. Well, I'll talk to you later. Maybe we can go get a slushy later! Hehehehehe" And with that, Melanie skipped back down the isle, waving to everyone on her way.

"Nora, let's do it. Let's get married. I love you. I always have. I always will. And I promise that I will never, ever hurt you again. I need you in my life forever!"

Nora was shocked. She stood there looking into Bo eyes. Everything was happening so fast. "I love you too, Bo. Okay, let's do it!!!!!"

And as Andrew pronounced them man and wife, everyone in the church cheered and cheered and cheered.
Even Melanie, from the back of the church, started her own little chant...."Give me a B...B, give me and O...O, give me an N...N, give me and O...O...(you get the picture) Bo and Nora were too busy to notice any of this. They were holding on to each other, for life, with the biggest and best lip lock any two people could ever imagine giving to one another.

Bo ran over the the organist and whispered something. The organist nodded and smiled. Bo and Nora ran back down the isle as the organist played (I'm a sucker for old songs LOL) Lover's Concerto by The Toys:

How gentle is the rain That falls softly on the meadow,
Birds high up the trees Serenade the clouds with their melodies
Oh, see there beyond the hill, The bright colors of the rainbow.
Some magic from above Made this day for us just to fall in love
Now, I belong to you From this day until forever,
Just love me tenderly And I'll give to you every part of me.
Oh, don't ever make me cry Through long lonely nights without us
Be always true to me, Keep this day in your heart eternally.
One day we shall return To this place upon the meadow.
We'll walk out in the rain, See the birds above singing once again
Oh, you hold me in your arms, And say once again you love me,
And if your love is true, Everything will be just as wonderful.
You'll hold me in your arms, And say once again you'll love me,
And if your love is true, Everything will be just as wonderful.

And they lived happily, happily ever after. Except for once a year when Melanie came around selling Girl Scout cookies!!!!