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The Education of Matthew Buchanan - Chapter 1   She let her hand linger on the phone after she had replaced it into its cradle. “Wow,” she thought, letting out a deep breath. She glanced down at her hand still resting on the receiver of the phone, resisting the urge to call back to see if it had been real. This time the word was spoken out loud. “Wow.”   She slid the hand that had held the phone; up, across her heart and felt its hurried beat pulsating past the point of shock to excitement. The enormity of the offer was starting to sink in. A judgeship; Her Honorable Nora Hanen.   All the hard work she had put into her law career; all the trials and tribulations, the successes and failures had suddenly come together and with one ring of the phone, had afforded her a way to finish out her career by making a real impact in the judicial system as a judge. Her knowledge of the law, her opinion about applying that knowledge towards what was right and what was wrong would finally matter, finally count. She closed her eyes and tried to let it all sink in.   It seemed her life had always been about the law. All of her life goals had been set around the law. Goals set first by her parents, mainly her father, and then her own lofty goals. All of those individual goals a foundation in the hopes of attaining this one ultimate goal, this one achievement. There was once a time in her life all she ever wanted was to make an impact, to be remembered for her love of the law. But with the censorship all those years ago on her record, the justifiable murder charge added to that and all of those ambitions seemed an impossibility. Now, suddenly, out of nowhere, here it was, a judgeship, laid perfectly at her feet and she had responded to the appointment with “I’ll think about it,” when her first impulse was to scream YES! A hundred times yes.   But order, then logic, and finally reality; real life had stopped her from accepting immediately. Namely, Matthew had stopped her. Fifteen years ago, she would have been gone. No second thoughts, no hesitations would have stopped her from accepting this appointment. But it wasn’t fifteen years earlier and her decisions didn’t just affect her. Her son had to be considered, he had to come first.   She wandered aimlessly around the pristine office, still dusted and vacuumed on a daily basis, even though the former occupant had moved on to a bigger office, a bigger company where he was no longer reachable for consult. Besides the house staff, no one ventured into this room anymore – not without permission. But she had chanced coming in, wanting her phone conversation to be private, knowing this office could afford her that.   She glanced at the books on the shelves, the pictures positioned in such a way as to be seen perfectly when seated behind the big mahogany desk. Everything in this office was big; big desk, big books, big picture window, just big; right down to the man who had used this office to make big decisions, just like the one now confronting her.   She had stood through most of her call, only daring to sit in the chair situated in the front of the big desk when the actual offer had been made, afraid her legs wouldn’t hold her. She hadn’t dared sit in his chair. No one had since he had moved on to that big office in the sky. At least she hoped he had moved upward. She glanced up, before allowing herself a small smile and a few tears, imaging Asa running heaven; she glanced down at the floor for a fleeting moment and thought, “God help us all if Asa is in charge of hell.   The phone call and its offer rang through her ears again. A judgeship. The city of Chicago had offered her a judgeship in the criminal court division, district 11. With the May elections just finishing, the citizens of Chicago had spoken and voted in change. With that change came new leadership and new appointments.   And out of nowhere the appointment had come and without realizing it until it was offered, she wanted it. All of her old career ambitions she thought she had abandoned had surfaced hard from deep within, like a submarine breaking the surface of a calm, dark sea, aching for sunlight after being submerged for years. She wanted this appointment so bad she could all ready feel the gavel in her clenched hand. She looked down at her fisted hand and opened it slowly, moving towards the large picture window, sheer curtains allowing just the right amount of sunshine in but offering an ample view of the 'back 40', as Asa liked to call the view from this side of the house.   “She wanted it,” she thought again. Accepting this appointment would also help put distance between her and Clint. She had regretted that relationship and having ended it two days before, their friendship was now strained. She knew Clint thought she just needed some space, just needed some time. But her decision to break it off with him was more than about needing space or time. It was about needing… she stopped herself mid thought. She wouldn’t go there. She wouldn’t allow her mind to take her there. This decision would come first. This decision and Matthew. Not his father.   She glanced back at the chair, almost catching a shadowed glimpse of Asa’s large frame, leaning forward as to gain an advantage, resting his chin on his folded hands, eyeing her from under the brim of his cowboy hat, his lips curved in a knowing grin. Or was it a smirk? He most certainly would have an opinion on this subject. She could hear him now, giving her all the reasons she should stay put in Llanview. Mentally, she started to argue back with him. She was, after all, a defense attorney by nature. She could counter any argument Asa Buchanan could come up with. He would of course, start with Matthew, pointing out the obvious. Changing schools would be hard on him.   She dismissed THAT argument immediately. Matthew would be starting a new high school in the fall, whether they lived in Llanview or Chicago. So that didn’t cut the mustard on a good enough reason to stay.   What about Matthew’s one true love, baseball, came the sound of Asa’s voice again. He would miss his summer baseball season. The boy had talent. He needed to stay and play with his team, give him a better chance to play at one of the local prep schools, give him better visibility to prospective colleges who started looking for talent at this level. How could she tear him away from the team he knew, away from the sport he loved, away from a chance to play for a good college with draft potential?   Well, she thought to herself. He wouldn’t have to leave his team if she allowed him to stay the summer in Llanview. She would be busy getting them settled in a new home in Chicago, getting orientated in her new position. Matthew could play out the Babe Ruth League here in Llanview and then come to Chicago in September, starting school and playing for his new high school team next spring. Part of playing sports was learning how to deal with change. This was a good opportunity and early enough for it not to affect Matthew’s ambitions to play college ball.   What about the boy’s friends, she heard Asa’s next argument. Matthew’s truest friends were here in Llanview. Nora let out a sigh before she argued that statement. Her son was a personable kid, easy going and made friends quickly. He had made just as many friends in Chicago over the years during their many stays with her folks, ones he even kept in touch with and ones he would probably go to High School with. 'Friends was not a good enough reason to stay, Asa.' She smiled to herself. She was winning.   Asa would play the family card next, specifically, the Buchanan Family. Matthew had developed close family ties with his Buchanan relatives. Was it fair to rip him away from the family who loved him?   Ahh, Nora smiled. She had the family card covered herself. Her parents were in Chicago and needed a chance to bond with their grandson just as much as the Buchanans. Rachel was there too, and Nora was sure she would relish being close to both her mother and brother.   Asa then would return the smile, the infamous Asa smirk and play his ace. What about Bo. He was the boy’s father after all and had all ready missed the first six years of his life. Nora had no right to deprive him of sharing in what was left of the boy’s childhood.   Nora moved from the window to the pictures on the book shelf. Her eyes lingered on one of Bo and Matthew, side by side, smiling into the camera. They were so close. No one looking at this picture would ever guess they hadn’t been part of each other’s lives from the moment of Matthew’s birth. But they hadn’t. And in some way, that had made their father/son bond stronger, tighter, fiercer. Could she just rip that from both of them by moving Matthew a thousand miles away from his father? She had no come back for this final ace and could almost feel Asa’s smirk on her back, knowing he had won.   She rolled her eyes. She was having an imaginary argument with a dead man. “It was this office,” she thought. Definitely being in this office was giving her doubts about accepting the appointment. She let out a sigh. It could work, if they all wanted it to. Lots of divorced couples made long distance visitation work. Matthew could live in Chicago with her. Bo could have him every Christmas; that was two weeks. Every school break, one in the fall for a week and one in the spring for a week. Easter vacation was another week. Nora was willing to give Bo the entire summer – that was eight to ten weeks. Bo could easily fly Matthew out during the school year on alternate weekends or Bo could fly to Chicago, especially since he wasn’t working for the city anymore. Counted up, it was practically a six month split.   She paced in front of the desk, tapping her chin in thought. What if it were reversed? What if she had to live that way? Could she? She nodded her head to convince herself she could while her heart screamed NO, she couldn’t. Slowly her head caught up with her heart and began to move slowly from side to side. No. She couldn’t live like that. She barely got through their long fishing weekends. She could never survive a school year without seeing her son. How could she expect Bo to try and live like that if she couldn’t?   Again she paced, stopping short and releasing a small sigh. She had her answer. She couldn’t ask Bo to do something she herself wasn’t willing to consider. So, that was that. Decision made. She would say no to the job. She would wait four years until Matthew was out of High School. She glanced towards the big desk and let out another sigh, admitting defeat. She was stuck in Llanview. “You win, Asa,” she said softly to the empty chair. A knock at the door had her turning suddenly in surprise.   “Ms. Hanen.”   “Nigel,” Nora stammered guiltily, looking around the room quickly, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be in here, I know. I was just here to use the phone. Needed some privacy.”   “It’s your house,” Nigel said with a smile. “You may come and go as you please to any room.”   Nora returned the smile. “Not this room, Nigel.”   “Whatever you say, Ms. Hanen.”   Nora closed her eyes for a second. “How did you know I was in here?” Nigel opened his mouth but Nora stopped him. “Never mind,” she said, shaking her head. “THAT was a dumb question. You know this house better than anyone. It probably speaks to you on some level. Or Asa nudged you.”   “Actually Miss, nothing as elaborate as all of that. I was orientating some new staff members and giving a tour when I saw you go in to Mr. Buchanan’s office.”   She moved past him into the hall, Nigel closing the door to the sacred room. “What was it you wanted again,” she asked.   “Mr. Buchanan is here, in the library. He is asking to speak with you.”   “He is?!” she asked with a start, looking towards the closed office door, thinking of the mental argument she had just had with the man.   Nigel gave her a knowing smile. “Mr. Bo Buchanan,” he emphasized. Nora rolled her eyes, more at herself for allowing her emotions to run wild for a quick second as she imagined Asa waiting in the library.   “Would you like me to bring refreshments?”   “More like a striped shirt and a whistle,” she mumbled.   “Miss?” Nigel asked, tilting his head towards her.   “No, Nigel, thank you. Hopefully he won’t be here long enough to want refreshments.”   “Very good, Miss. If you changed your mind…”   “Thanks Nigel. You’re too kind.”   He glanced at the closed office door before moving in the opposite direction of the library where Mr. Bo was waiting for her. He didn’t want to be around for those fireworks.   Nora watched him disappear around the corner of the hallway before heading towards the library. Bo’s back was to her when she arrived at the entrance way and she stood quietly watching him, thinking back to days gone by. He seemed deep in thought, his head tilted down, his hands in his pockets. She felt an urge from somewhere deep within to move slowly behind him and kiss the nape of his neck. She allowed herself a bit of remorse before she cleared her throat and entered the room.   He turned to face her, always struck by her simple beauty and then clouded by his memories of her deceit. “Hi Nora.”   “Hi yourself. What brings you by?”   “I wanted to talk to you.”   “About?”   “I have news,” he hesitated, “and I wanted you to hear it from me first.”   “Hmmm,” she said with cautious interest. She poured herself a glass of water, sipping at it. “Since when do you feel the need to tell me anything first.”   “What’s that supposed to mean?” His tone was defensive and accusatory.   “Nothing,” she lied, resisting the urge to throw the entire Daniel debacle in his face. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit pre-occupied. What is it you need to tell me yourself?” She looked up at him suddenly. “Does it have to do with Matthew?”   He shook his head, turning from her, suddenly afraid to meet her eyes. “He’s not here, is he?”   “No, not in from school yet.” She stared at his back. “So,” she said.   “So,” he repeated, his face still turned from her.   Knowing him, she knew he needed some prodding. “After everything we’ve been through, you know you can tell me anything.” She saw his head give a slight nod. “So,” she said again. “If it isn’t about Matthew, what it is about?”   “Me,” came his one word answer.   Her demeanor suddenly changed, filled with concern and those concerns came out in a ramble. “What is it? Are you sick? Whatever it is, we can handle it together. We’ll get you the best doctors, the best medical experts in the world.”   He turned back to face her, shaking his head and holding out his hand to stop her rant. “No, no, I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. Healthy as an ox.”   She let out a relieved laugh. “Well that’s good. Then what is it? You’re scaring me.”   He paused and then finally let the words go. “I’m getting married.”   To be continued