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Feels Like Home   The Night of the Awards Dinner   He held a cold beer in his hand, his third tonight, as he watched her from across the room, the crystals from her deep red gown catching the light and enticing his eyes to watch the gentle sway of her hips, the slit in her dress revealing those never ending legs as she danced to a slow song with him. Watching her. Watching as Colson’s hand caressed the small of her back. Watching his thumb touching the skin on her back that her dress draped low to reveal. Watching as something stirred inside, something that he hadn’t felt in years, something he wasn’t sure he could face again. Needing any distraction he could find, he lifted his beer to his mouth only to find the bottle empty. He thought about getting up to get another, but his eyes were captured by the grace of her movements, the radiance of her skin, and the glimmer the light played on her red hair. He had forgotten how beautiful she was and as he watched captivated by her, it was as if he was seeing her for the first time....again. His mind wandered back in time to when he was the one dancing with her, holding her body close to his, her warm breath on his neck, his hand caressing her silky skin, inhaling the scent that was indescribably her, soft and strong and sexy … suddenly, thankfully, his thoughts were interrupted as John McBain sat down at the table. John nodded to Bo, noticing where his eyes had been.   “Nora looks like she having a fun time.”   “Yeah she does.” Bo nodded.   “Hey, I’m going to get another. You want one?” John said pointing to his beer.   “Yeah. That’d be great John. Thanks.”   “Sure. Hey, I hope you don’t mind me saying this but maybe you should go ask her to dance instead of staring at her all night.”   Bo looked at him and nodded, feeling caught off guard, and hoped that his thoughts hadn’t been as obvious to everyone else in the room. ***************** Nora felt herself relax. The cherry red dress hugged her body and it’s crystals shimmered slightly in the light. The low neckline drew a swirl of fabric across her breasts, exposing the uppermost swells and a hint of the valley between them, accentuating her shoulders and neck. The fabric slid over her hips and into a straight skirt, which fell to her ankles, with a long slit up the side exposing her slender legs and crystal-covered heels. She knows she looks beautiful, and as she glides across the floor in the arms of Daniel Colson, she can almost imagine what it feels like to be desired again, by someone. The wine has warmed her soul and caused her cheeks to flush, and the confidence she feels brightens her smile and causes her eyes to glitter like the crystals on her toes. When she walked into the dinner tonight, conversation stopped at the table of those she knew well, who stared wide-eyed until her laughter broke the moment. She kissed each in turn on the cheek, wiping away the smudge of color her lips leave behind, and allowed herself to believe she will enjoy herself this evening.   She has danced and flirted, and had another glass of warm, rich wine, as she drifts into the ladies' salon to check her lipstick and breathe for a moment. As she runs her fingers over the planes of her cheeks and fixes her hair, She glances at the image of the woman across from her and smiles at the color in her skin and the way the light shifts over her breasts in the deep color, before stepping back out into the hall and walking back into the ballroom.   She knows that he has been watching her and can feel his penetrating stare, the excitement of it sending a rush through her. From across the room she catches his eye and looks away again quickly.     Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself Makes me want to lose myself in your arms There's something in your voice makes my heart beat fast Hope this feeling lasts The rest of my life     She slowly makes her way back to their table taking another glass of wine from the waiter before sitting down. She looks at John and Antonio, and small talks with Jessica, Marcie and Michel before finally resting her eyes on his. They haven’t really talked to one another tonight, neither wanting to verbalize what they might be thinking, afraid of what might not be true, afraid of what might be true, knowing that without the dress, without the music and without the alcohol things might seems different.   The confidence in her tonight makes him smile inside and before he knows it and against his better judgment he has taken John's suggestions and asked her to dance and maybe it’s because of the alcohol and maybe it’s the beginning of something. He unconsciously brushes his fingers along her arm as he waits for her to finish talking to Jessica. She turns to look at him, and the heat that passes between them in that look is almost palpable. As she excuses herself from the table, he instinctively takes her wine glass from her fingers and places it on a table as they walk toward the dance floor.     If you knew how lonely my life has been And how long I've felt so low If you knew how I wanted someone to come along And change my life the way you've done     Daniel walks back into the ballroom and stops, suddenly taken back, as he watches them walking to the dance floor. He watches their fingers slide into the others and how Bo’s hand efficiently glides immediately along the small of her back. As they approach the dance floor, he turns and Daniel can see the predatory and possessive heat of his stare, and that there is a dialogue occurring in each touch and sensation as they move toward each other. The way their bodies intuitively move fluidly together, and the way his fingers trace her spine and the way she looks at him, all suggest a complete and complex intimacy. And Daniel realizes at that moment that she was never with him this evening and that although Bo and Nora don’t yet know it and may not be ready to admit it yet, they are still in love with one another.     Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong     ***************** The Next Morning, Sunday   The sound of the alarm comes far to early. She reaches her arm over her eyes still closed and blindly begins pushing buttons hoping that one will turn off the music that is blaring against her aching head. As she steps into the hot shower, she remembers now why she stopped drinking red wine years ago and vows never to try it again.   When she arrives there is less activity than normal in the department, everyone still recovering from the dinner last night. She is surprised to find Bo in his office looking all rumpled.   She leans against the frame of his door and smiles. He looks tired she thinks.   “Hey, you’re sure here early. I have to be here. What’s your excuse?”   Bo looks surprised to see her. “I couldn’t sleep. Too much (he pauses and looks down) everything.”   “I know how you feel. I had a bit of a headache myself this morning. But nothing that coffee, several Tylenol and a chocolate donut couldn’t cure.” She holds out the bag of chocolate donuts. “Want one?”   Bo looks up, nods his head and halfway smiles and nods no. “Thanks I ate something earlier. Is Matthew still on his overnight?” He says hoping that they will steer clear of any conversation about what happened between them the night before.   “Yes, and I’m sure he is having fun.” Stevie’s Dad had taken the boys both up to a cabin on the lake for some fishing and fun. “He should be back around eight tonight. Speaking of which, I’d better get to work on this case while I have the time. I’ll see you later.”   Bo nods again and watches as she walks to her office silently relieved that she didn’t bring up anymore about last night.   When Nora gets to her office she notices that there is an envelope sticking out from the bottom of her door and she carefully bends down to pick it up so as not to spill her coffee. She puts it to the side on top of her desk and begins grudgingly to work, all the while their dance from last night lingering like haze on a muggy summer morning in the back of her mind.   It’s noon before she decides to take a break. Her stomach growling, she decides to see if Bo will split a pizza with her.   “Hey Bo, you wouldn’t want to split a pizza with me, my treat?” She asks him as she enters the open door to his office.   “Only if I get to have Anchovies,” he teases knowing that she hates anchovies.   “No deal Buchanan. It’s my treat I get to decide. Unless of course you want to pay.”   “Okay you win. No anchovies but can we at least have green peppers and mushrooms.”   “You add Pepperoni to that and it’s a deal Commissioner.” He nods. “Hey did you get that today?” She points to the envelope on his desk.   “Yeah, weird though. There was this note that said, “I can still win.”   “Mine said that too.”   “You got a note like this?”   “Yeah, I thought it was a joke or a prank. You don’t think it something serious.”   “I don’t know. But I’m going to find out. I going to have the lab analyze this immediately.” He says. Reaching for the phone. “Hey this is Commissioner Buchanan. I have two suspicious envelopes that we need to have analyzed ASAP.”   *************** They are each finishing their second piece of pizza and laughing about how funny it was to see John McBain in a tuxedo last night when the phone rings. “Buchanan” He answers.   “Commissioner, I have analyzed the envelopes that you and ADA Buchanan received and have found traces of a biological substance. We are unsure yet what it is but until we find out we have called in the HASMET team and they have ordered the building sealed off. I’m sorry but you and ADA Buchanan will have to remain in your office until we can determine more. We will let you know when we have more information. I should let you know that the ventilation system will be turned off so it may get a little warm in there.”   Nora saw Bo’s face become concerned and before should could ask what was wrong, she saw two men in HASMET suits shut Bo’s office door and begin to seal it. ***************   A window breaks down a long dark street And a siren walls in the night But I'm alright cause I have you here with me And I can almost see through the dark there's light     “I’m sure it’s just a precaution Nora.” He had relayed the message that he had gotten to her and could see the fear in her eyes although he knew she would never admit it to him.   “At least the pizza got here before they sealed it off…Oh Bo, I’ve got so much work to do and it’s all in there.” She pointed towards her office. “Can’t I at least get my files?”   “I don’t think that decision is up to me. Besides I’m sure the judge will grant you a continuance under the circumstances. Hey look on the bright side I have a deck of cards I keep right here just in case.”   “You keep a deck of cards in your desk in the off chance that someone will send you a biological substance that will force them to seal off in your office.”   “Shut up and Deal.”   “Don’t think I’m going easy on you Commish just because we may be fighting for our lives here.” ********************** After an hour of gin rummy with a tie between them of two hands each they decided to take a break. “Hey, you know what I forgot about?” Bo said as he retrieved a bag from his desk, “Peanut M&M’s.” He holds the yellow bag in the air, his eyes twinkling.   “Chocolate. I love chocolate. I can now die a happy woman”   “Hey don’t joke this may be our last meal and besides what makes you think I am going to share them with you?”   Nora gives him a look he knows all too well and he opens the bag and pours several M&M’s into her hand. “Is it getting hot in here?” she asked after several of the M&M’s melted on her hand. “I thought these were supposed to melt in your mouth not in your hands.” She giggles.   “Oh, I forgot to tell you that they were going to turn off the ventilation system.”   “Yeah, well I think I figured that out Bo.” Nora proceeds to take off her suit jacket leaving just a thin sleeveless shell and slim black pants, neither leaving much to the imagination.   Bo notices a small bead of perspiration roll down her neck and into the valley between her breasts. He swallows.   “It is getting hot in here.” Bo begins to roll his sleeves up and unbuttons another button on his shirt.   After a few minutes of awkward silence Bo decided to break the silence.   “Did you have a good time on your date with Daniel last night?”   “Yes… (She hesitates) I had a good time but Daniel and I are just friends.”   “Maybe someone ought to tell him that.”   “I did tell him… last night. Funny thing is though he already seemed to know.”   “Nora, you were complaining just the other day that you didn’t have a social life. Don’t you think you should give him a chance?”   “I can’t help how I feel Bo.”   “Are you sure that’s all there is to it?”   “What do you mean?”   “I don’t know. What do you think I mean?"   Wait a minute, She thought. That was her trick… answering a question with a question.   “Why are you badgering me about this Bo? Why are you so concerned about my social life? Why don’t we change the subject to your social life? I don’t see you asking many other women out. Whatever happened to Eve?”   He thought about what she had said. She was right. Why hadn’t he? He knew that it wasn’t because of Gabrielle… Eve was just a friend and could never be anything more. Wait a minute…they were talking about her. How did she manage to change the topic to him so easily?   “Nora, we aren't talking about me. We are talking about you. Stop using your lawyer tactics and answer question.”   “I was hoping you would forget. Honestly Bo, (she pauses) I don’t think that I want a relationship. I am happy with Matthew and work and (she hesitates)that’s enough.”   “You don’t want a relationship with anyone? Do you mean now or ever? Realizing that she meant “ever” he asks, “Why?”   “I’m just not good at them.”   “What?”   “Every good relationship I have ever had I’ve ruined. Look at what happened to us, to Hank and I.”   “What do you mean?”   “Bo, lets not do this.”   Bo pauses a minute his level of discomfort was as high as hers. But maybe this was fate, He thought. Maybe they needed to talk about this finally and maybe being locked up together was the only way to do it.   “Nora, maybe it’s fate that we are locked in here together. Maybe someone is trying to tell us something.” He waits a minute before continuing on. “We have never really talked about this and I want to know what you mean?” He waits for her to answer but he already knows the answer. He knows that she still blames herself for all the mistakes in their marriage.” He realizes that this whole time she has carried the burden of their divorce. He moves from behind his desk around to the front where she is sitting. He leans back on the edge of the desk in front of the chair she is sitting in and grabs her hands. She looks up into his eyes, scared to discover what she will see, but instead finds his beautiful blue eyes filled with concern, understanding and something else, something that she hasn’t seen in a long time.   “Nora, you can’t blame yourself for everything that happened with us. I was there too. Remember? I was the one who didn’t trust you enough to tell you about Georgie. I was the one who pushed you away when Drew died. I was the one walked out…” His voice trails off. “I walked out on you and our son when you needed me most…and for all those things and so many more I am so sorry.”   She can see the sincerity in his eyes as he speaks the words she has waited so long to hear.   “Bo I just wish I could go back to that day and …” She doesn’t finish the sentence aloud but they both know what she means.”   “Nora, you don’t have to say it. I forgave you a long time ago for that.”   Nora stands and turns away from him, no longer able to keep her emotions in check, as the tears begin fall. Without thinking, he moves towards her and wraps his arms around her from behind. She leans into him and allows herself to be comforted.   As he holds her, Bo can smell her perfume and feel the softness of hair against his neck and realizes that the feelings he was having last night were real and maybe they were always there but he’s just been to stubborn to admit them.     If you knew how much this moment means to me And how long I've waited for your touch If you knew how happy you are making me I've never thought I'd love anyone so much     “So did he kiss you good night?” He asks teasingly.   She smiles “You aren’t jealous are you?”   “Did he?”   “He tried but I wouldn’t let him.”   “Why not?   “I told him…" She stops mid-sentence not wanting to reveal why.   “You told him what?” Bo asks again.   “I told him I was in love with someone else.” She says so quietly it’s almost a whisper.”   Bo turns her toward him and stares into her warm brown eyes, filled with hesitation. She looks back at him sees what she has longed to see for so many years. She sees forgiveness and acceptance and most of all she sees love. He smiles, his blue eyes twinkling, and can’t help but glance down to her full lips. Moving slowly, his hands on either side of her head, he pulls her face towards him and brushes his lips against hers. The kiss is soft and gentle and filled with so much more tenderness that either ever expected. They quickly finds themselves lost in the feel of one another and Bo begins to try to deepen the kiss when the phone rings. He sighs not ready for the moment to end and rests his forehead on hers. She smiles. After several more rings he pulls away from her to answer it.   “What?” he answers annoyed.   “Commissioner.”   “Hey, what did you find out?”   “It seems that it was just a hoax. We have the all clear now. You and ADA Buchanan are free to go.”   “Thanks.” he says.   He lays the phone back on its hook and turns looks back to Nora.   “We’re free.”   Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong     Feels Like Home -by Bonnie Raitt