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Little Girl Lost   “All right, boys, let’s shut it down.” John McBain called out to the crime scene team and nodded to his immediate superior, Police Commissioner Bo Buchanan. The night was a cold one made worse by the sting operation gone bad. A man was dead, one of the drug dealers, but nevertheless, a fatality had lengthened the time spent out in the freezing elements.   The normally dark alley was well lit with the flashing lights and spots from the squad cars.   “John, turn one of those spots on the corner there!” Bo yelled. The requested light revealed a small form hovered behind a wooden crate. Bo stepped closer to investigate.   It was a little girl. She had pressed herself against the dingy brick wall behind a couple of wooden crates. Did the child know the victim? Had she seen the man get killed?   She wore a coat but it was worn in so many places, Bo doubted it was offering her much warmth. He pulled his jacket and bent down and wrapped it around her thin shoulders.   “Hello.”   The child looked into his eyes but didn’t say a word.   “Are you hurt?”   A brief shake of her head made him feel a little better. “Did you know…?”   Again the girl shook her head.   Relieved, Bo continued. “Do you live around here?”   The girl shook her head more certainly this time and threw her small frame at Bo, circled his neck and held on tight.     Three hours had passed, but the girl had yet to let go of Bo. She’d fallen asleep in his arms with her dark head burrowed in his neck.   Once at the station, the child advocate officer tried to take the girl into custody but it was soon apparent, with the Commissioner’s agreement, that the best course of action would be for the girl to stay with Bo. With the assurance that the appointed officer would check in daily, Bo loaded the still-sleeping girl in the car and headed toward home.   But first, as he did every night, he drove by Nora’s house. Sometimes he just drove right past, but other times, when he wanted to hold her more than he wanted to breathe, he would pull up the driveway, careful to turn off his headlights first. Tonight was one of those nights.   Bo stared at the old barn and was filled with the memories of how he’d felt when he’d discovered it for sale and how excited he’d been to show it to her for the first time.   He was glad she still lived there. It hurt like hell, but he was still glad. That house kept her safe and protected when he couldn’t.   He looked over to check his young passenger, and then allowed himself to sink back into the memories that were never too far from his mind, both good and bad.   When they married.   When they loved.   When they divorced. As the word flashed across his mind, the clench of his gut was still painful.   When Drew died, he’d pushed Nora away. She had tried to reach him, but he wouldn’t allow himself to be comforted. She’d tried to pull him back by telling him she was pregnant, but it had been a lie. She’d tried to be pregnant, even going so far as sleeping with Sam Rappaport to make it happen. But in the end, she couldn’t hide the fact that she had never been pregnant.   He used to stop at that point in the memories, not willing to experience the pain of dwelling on that horrible time any further. But more and more often he was beginning to realize that the pain that her betrayal caused hurt much less than the pain of not having her in his life.   A knock on the glass startled him from his thoughts.   “Bo? What are you doing out here?”   TBC   Little Girl Lost – Part 2   Last time…Bo’s visit to a crime scene finds himself the temporary ward of a small girl. Before he heads home he stops by Nora’s as is his nightly habit. Just in case you hadn’t figured it out, this is an alternate reality, a “what if Nora hadn’t been pregnant” story.   Bo looked at Nora through the car window but didn’t move to lower the glass. “Go back inside, Nora, it’s too cold out here,” he called. He put his transmission in reverse and watched her robe clad form head back into the house. Close call.   Bo hadn’t seen Nora in over a year. Since she was in private practice, she rarely showed her face at the Police Station. Her practice had grown and one of the two associate lawyers would make an appearance on Nora’s behalf, if necessary.   Bo kept himself busy too, that had helped, especially when they were first divorced. He still stopped in at Rodi’s and the Palace every once in a while, but he didn’t linger. Life was about work.   Bo’s thoughts were interrupted by the movement of the little girl who lay bundled up in his back seat. He’d put a seat belt around her but now she fought against it as if she was having a bad dream. Bo pulled his car into his own driveway and eased the little girl from the restraint. “Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he whispered to the girl. He hoisted her up out of the car and hugged her tightly. He negotiated the stepping stones up the path to the front door of the log cabin he’d called home for the last several years. The warm welcome of the front porch light reminded him, as it did every night, that he was home.   Bo tapped the front door closed, gently, as to not wake his new friend. He laid her down on the love seat and pulled the Indian print throw over her. She needed a bath and probably some food, but he wouldn’t wake her now. Bo brushed the hair off of her forehead and sat back to study her.   What made him think he could take care of this girl? Who knows what she had seen or heard? He didn’t think she was more than four or five, and he was the first to admit that his knowledge of children was limited. Regardless, when she’d wrapped her little arms around his neck, he was hooked. At least he’d have help in the morning. Olivia, his housekeeper, would be able to help him get her cleaned up and fed.   Satisfied that he was prepared enough for the morning, he kicked off his worn loafers and lay down to continue to watch the small girl and soon fell asleep himself.   ***   She didn’t even know where he lived. She’d had to ask Viki for the address.   Nora pulled her car up the driveway and double checked the number. Yes, this was the place. With two hot coffees in hand, she walked up the stone path and pushed the doorbell with the side of her wrist.   The butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she heard movement on the other side of the door. The heavy wooden door swung open and there he was. Bo Buchanan. The butterflies stilled, but so did her breathing. Last night, when she’d seen the car pull up in front of her house she was too surprised to say anything to him. But, she couldn’t let the opportunity pass her by.   Too many times, especially when she was in her bed alone, she thought about him. What was he doing? Was he happy? Had he fallen in love again?   The activity in the living room, behind Bo and his front door, grabbed her attention. A beautiful woman played with a little girl on a familiar brown leather couch. The woman was showing the little girl how to fold towels and they were both giggling at the child’s attempts. The fireplace was roaring behind them and the smell of breakfast wafted out the front door.   “Nora?” Bo interrupted.   “Hello Bo.”   “Hi.”   She thrust one of the coffees toward him. “Here.” Thankful that the cup had a lid, she smiled in apology and turned to leave. He had a new family now, she shouldn’t have come.   TBC   Little Girl Lost – Part 3   “Mr. Buchanan, I need to go now.”   The young voice pulled him out of the stun that Nora’s arrival had caused. “Sure, Olivia, thank you so much for helping out this morning.”   “No problem. She’s a sweet little girl. I hope it all ends well for her.”   “Me too!”   Nora stood by the door and watched the scene unfold before her. Bo’s wife was leaving. Wait! She called him Mr. Buchanan?! Were they not married?   “Nora?” Bo was calling to her. “Why don’t you come in?”   Her curiosity roused, she followed his suggestion while showed Olivia to the door. She used the opportunity to study the place Bo called home. The walls were dark, well they were logs, so of course they’d be dark Nora reasoned. But the high ceiling and dormer windows filled the room with early morning light. The fireplace was massive and its weathered stone reflected the blazing warmth in the hearth.   “Hi, Nora.”   At his voice, she turned and faced him. “Hi. Bo.”   “How are you?”   “I’m good.”   “Good, you look good.”   “So do you.”   “It’s been a long time.”   This was awkward. Nora replayed their exchange in her mind and see-sawed between being overjoyed because she was here with him or excruciatingly embarrassed because she couldn’t even start a decent conversation. “I’m sorry I came so early. But when you came by last night it was so nice to see you and I’ve been really good about staying away—“   “Too good.”   She looked up sharply and automatically defended herself, “Well, you’ve done a pretty good job of making yourself scarce—“   “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Bo held his hands up in defeat. “I didn’t mean to imply…..anything really.” Bo rubbed his early morning stubble and took a deep breath. “Can we try this again?”   Nora smiled. He was obviously as unprepared for this as she was. “I would like that.”   “Great! Why don’t you sit down?” The relief that she wasn’t leaving could be heard in his voice.   They both sat, she in one of the leather armchairs, he on the ottoman that sat in the middle of the room where a coffee table belonged.   “Is she yours?” Nora looked over at the child and tried to ignore the hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. She guessed the girl was three or four and was curled up in the big leather armchair wrapped in a flannel blanket. Nora vaguely recognized the cartoon that firmly held the child’s attention.   Bo kept his tone low, but shook his head. “We believe she was a witness to a shooting that took place last night down in the warehouse district. She was hiding and said she didn’t know the man that was shot, but I’m not sure I believe her. Anyway, when we got back to the station it was so late that we all decided she could just stay the night here.”   “That’s a little unusual isn’t it, the Commissioner of Police offering room and board to a witness?” Nora teased.   “She was scared and was attached to me.”   “Now that I can understand, it’s hard for any woman to let go of Bo Buchanan.”   Bo smiled sadly, “Well, she’s just visiting, I’ll be alone again soon enough.” With that revelation, he rose to answer the ringing phone, leaving Nora to wonder if he was happy with the solitude or just resigned to it.   “That was John. They need me to bring her down to the station.”   “Do you know her name?” Nora whispered.   Bo shook his head which made Nora roll her eyes. It was obvious that in all the late night confusion, the basics of police work had escaped the esteemed Police Commissioner.   Nora slid over to where the girl sat giggling at the antics on the screen in front of her. “Sweetheart?”   The girl looked up and instantly put up a guarded look to the new visitor.   “My name is Nora. What’s yours?”   “Reagan.”   “Reagan! That’s a beautiful name. Do you know your last name?”   “Phillips.” (no relation to Georgie, promise!)   Nora tuned over and looked at Bo, urging him with just a look to get back on the phone with the new information.   “Do you know where you live?”   “In a house.”   Nora smiled at the girl’s response. “Do you know what city you live in? Do you live in Llanview?”   The girl shook her head. I live with my mommy but I don’t where our house is.”   The girl’s tears nearly broke Nora’s heart. “It’s okay. I’m going to try to help you figure it out. Would that be all right?”   Nora started asking Reagan questions, completely unaware of the admiring blue eyes that watched.   TBC   Little Girl Lost – Part 4   Thirty minutes later, Nora stood and walked to where Bo was researching the National Missing Children database. “Okay, we’ve determined that she lives in Florida. At least I think so.” Nora glanced back at the girl who was once again mesmerized by cartoons and smiled.   Bo shook his head, “You were amazing with her Red, uh, I mean Nora.”   Nora blushed but didn’t comment on his use of her old nickname. “Kids know a lot more than we give them credit for, even at a young age.”   “We need to take her down to the station.”   “Do you mind if I give her a bath first, clean her up a little bit?”   “No, that would be great.” It had occurred to Bo that his comfort level with keeping the child would be quickly met. He was grateful for the extra help, especially when that help came in the form of Nora. Nora was a great mother he’d always thought. Her daughter Rachel had had her fair share of problems, but overall had developed into a pretty great adult.   She would have been a great mother to their child, too. Bo took a deep steadying breath. Wow, that came out of nowhere! Ever since their divorce, Bo had pushed any thoughts of Nora away as quickly as possible, but now, mixed with visions of Nora as a mother to a new baby, the reason for their split burned a painful reminder through his chest. This time, however, he didn’t push the possibility of ‘what might have been away. Bo watched Nora interact with this little girl, witnessed how she made the girl giggle and feel comfortable in a situation that likely had the child scared to death.   That’s what Nora had always done for him; serve as the calm in the storm. Though, she did a pretty good job of stirring up the waters sometimes. Memories of debates, provoked and genuine, flitted though his mind bringing a smile to his face.   “Bo?” a voice interrupted, “I can’t find the towels!”   “Oh, sorry, I’ll get one for you.” He followed her back into the small bathroom, very aware of the tight space. When it was just him, the room was fine but when you added Nora plus the need to the open the small linen cabinet body space was limited. He involuntarily groaned when Nora slid past him to get back to Reagan and pull her out of the tub.   Bo’s response mortified him. He was acting like some kind of randy teenager, but the truth of the matter was that it had been quite a while since he’d touched or even smelled a woman. When his body encountered Nora’s it naturally reacted. ‘Yeah, that’s it,’ Bo thought to himself. He escaped to his bedroom, and began communicating to the picture that sat on his bedside table, as was his almost daily habit. “Nora, how is that you still effect me like that?”   “Bo, did you say something?”   He turned sharply, back toward the door where the real version of his ex-wife stood.   TBC…   Little Girl Lost Part 5   Bo quickly moved his body to stand in front of the framed picture. “What? Uh, I mean, no. I was just talking to myself.   “Oh, okay. Reagan is all cleaned up and ready.” She leaned to one side, trying to see what he was hiding.   “That’s great! I guess we getter get down to the station. You could go with us if you didn’t have anything else planned.”   She jumped at the chance. “Yes! I mean, sure, if you don’t mind.”   Once they’d settled Reagan into the back of Bo’s Jeep and she’d buckled herself in, Nora struggled with how she’d reacted inside the house. It all felt so surreal to even be in the same room with him. At the same time, it was easy to pretend the separation hadn’t been reality. She turned to look at him. He still looked good, but there was something missing. He seemed sad and she had yet to see that twinkle in his eyes that she remembered. She looked at him again.   And got caught.   He smiled back at her but turned quickly to look back at the road.   “How have you been Bo?”   He moaned internally. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to evade a barrage of questions. She was one of the best lawyers in the sate of Pennsylvania, he didn’t stand a chance. But, he had to try.   “Fine. How about you?”   “Fine, just fine.”   Bo smiled, genuinely this time. She was as nervous as he was. He couldn’t believe it!   Bo’s glee was interrupted by a small voice in the back seat. “Nora, are you going to be my new mommy?   Nora and Bo shared a look of concern before Nora responded, “What if we try to find your real mommy instead. I’m sure she misses you very, very much.”   The child shook her head with tears in her eyes, “My mommy is dead. I need a new one.”   Once at the station, Bo and Nora waited out in the hallway while a Llantano County representative talked with Reagan. Nora had told the older lady about what the girl had said on the way to the police station, but now was powerless to do anything but wait.   “I’m so sorry, Nora. This must be so hard for you.”   “I’m fine.”   “I’d understand if you wanted to go home. I can get one of the officers to take you back to your car.”   “I’m not going to leave her here alone, Bo.”   “I didn’t mean that, I just meant—“   “I know what you meant. You think I’m can’t handle this. Well I can! I may not be able to have your child but that doesn’t mean I’m not a good mother and that I don’t still have maternal instincts.”   Silence followed from both sides. Bo was afraid to say anything and Nora was afraid to say anything else. She’d already said much more than she ever intended.   After a long stretch of nothing being said, Bo couldn’t keep quiet. “I know you’re a wonderful mother. I never doubted that.”   “Thank you.”   “You would have been a wonderful mother to our child.”   “Well, that boat has sailed, so let’s just let it go, alright?”   “Are you sure? Maybe we need to talk about it just to clear the air?”   “Let it go, Bo, please.”   And he did, for now, but something told him he’d hit the tip of an iceberg.   TBC   Little Girl Lost – Part 6   The social worker stepped out in the hall to talk with Bo and Nora.   “Well, this is an interesting case. Reagan is convinced that her mother is deceased. I tried to get her to tell me more about her mother, but she wouldn’t say anything. My team will start working on tracking her family down. But first, we need to take her over to the hospital to be examined.”   Nora gasped. “You don’t think anything has happened to her, do you?”   “I honestly don’t think so. I didn’t notice any signs of abuse, but we want to be certain, of course.”   “Of course, you’re right.” She felt Bo’s hand come to rest on her lower back. She welcomed but was surprised by the support.   “Commissioner, I know you’ve stepped in to help us with this case, and it’s most appreciated. We’ll take over now so you can get back to normal. I’m sure you have an incredibly busy schedule.”   Bo knew the state had processes and procedures in place for situations like these, but now that he was actually involved in one of those situations, he did not want her to become a ward of the state. “I appreciate your concern, but I would be happy to have her stay with me.”   “That’s very generous of you, Commissioner, but there are regulations that must be followed. Reagan will become a ward of the state and placed into foster care until either her family can be found or permanent care can be secured. I understand that you’re worried about her, but she really will be fine.”   “I know, but as the Commissioner, can’t I request an exception be made just this once?”   “I’m sorry, sir. Even if the president himself were to come forward and want to care for her, we must follow the rules and place her in state approved care.”   “Who do I need to talk to? This can’t be the end of it. She’s scared and she trusts us!”   “Us?” the social worker asked.   “Yes, me and Ms. Buchanan.” Bo sent a pleading look in Nora’s direction.   “Are you willing to take her on, then?” The social worker’s question was directed at Nora.   “Yes, I will.”   “Ok, then. I’ll start the paperwork and after she’s been released, I’ll call you.   “Great, thank you.”   “Wait a minute.” Bo was confused. “Are you telling me that Nora can have custody of Reagan, but I can’t? I don’t understand. Is it because I’m a man?”   “Of course not, Commissioner. It’s because Nora Buchanan is one of the best foster mothers in Llantano County. She is certified by the state to care for a child in this kind of situation. I’ll be in touch Ms. Buchanan.”   The older woman walked away leaving Bo staring blankly at his former wife. Who, it turns out, he doesn’t know as well as he thought he did.   TBC   Little Girl Lost – Part 7   “Why didn’t you tell me?”   “Tell you what? Tell you that when we divorced I couldn’t handle it? Tell you that super lawyer Nora Buchanan fell apart and couldn’t get out of bed for weeks and weeks when you moved out of our house?” Nora whispered. She looked up at Bo and didn’t try to wipe away the tears that escaped her watery eyes.   Bo handed her a handkerchief and guided her to his office just around the corner. Once she was settled on the sofa he circled the office making sure every blind was closed. Then, he walked back and sat down next to her. “I didn’t talk to anyone.”   Nora’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”   “When we divorced. I didn’t talk to anyone for weeks. I wouldn’t answer the door or the phone. Clint had to come and dig me out. He made me shave and shower. Then, once I did rejoin the land of the living, I let myself become absorbed with work. I pushed myself so hard that when I came home every night I collapsed into bed and every morning, when I woke up and I reached for you next to me and you were never there, I pushed myself to get back to work.”   “You left me, not that I blame you.” Nora paused. “I never thought about you being unhappy. I always pictured you getting on with your life, having a good time, being happy. I always pictured you finding a woman that could give you a baby.”   “Oh, honey, no.” Bo stood and started to pace his office trying to put his thoughts into words. He was just about to say something else when the door opened and one of his officers stepped in the office.   “I’m sorry to interrupt, sir, but the mayor is on the phone and needs to speak with you right away.”   Nora rose, but Bo held her arm as she tried to slide past and responded to the officer. “I’ll be right there, give me a minute.” Bo turned back to Nora. “Don’t leave, please.”   “I have to, Bo. There’s a lot to do to get ready for Reagan. Maybe we can set a time for you to come see her, if you want.” She reached up and pulled his hand off of her arm. “I’m glad you’re doing well, Bo. You deserve to be happy.”   “Who said I was happy?” he mumbled to the closed door.   ***   Nora was amazed at how well Reagan fit into her life. From the first day she’d met Reagan, she’d felt a connection, but now, living with her, Nora felt that a missing part of her heart was beginning to heal. They spent their days together working around the house, as well as playing games, reading stories, and acting silly. Life was good.   The only problem was as much as Reagan had connected with Nora, the child wasn’t willing to let go of her connection to Bo. At least 5 times a day Reagan would ask if she would see Bo that day and Nora would always answer, “We’ll see”.   Finally, Nora relented and called Bo. Nora was not thrilled that his voice mail picked up, but still affected by just hearing his voice. The recording played, “Hi, this is Bo Buchanan, please leave me a message and I’ll get back with you.”   When the beep hit her ear, she hung up. She’d been so focused on the resonance of his voice she failed to get her message together in her mind.   “Is Bo going to come today?” the innocent voice interrupted Nora’s thoughts.   “He didn’t answer the phone, but I’ll call him again in just a few minutes, ok?”   Temporarily satisfied, the young girl went back to her puzzle and Nora breathed a sigh of relief, short lived though it was since the next sound she heard was that of Bo knocking on her front door, peeking through the window to the side of the door.   “Bo!!” Reagan squealed in delight and started pulling at the handle of the door.   As soon she could pull the door open, with Nora’s help, Reagan leaped into Bo’s arms who gladly returned a hug. “Oh, I missed you! Have you been being a good girl for Nora?”   “Of course! Did you bring me anything?”   “Reagan!” Nora scolded in her best mother’s voice.   “It’s okay Nora. I might have a little something for you, let me see.”   Reagan happily took the lollipop he offered and went back to what she was doing, leaving Bo and Nora to stand there awkwardly.   “So, how have you been? I’ve been meaning to call but I’ve been so busy keeping Reagan entertained,” Nora stammered.   “Actually, that’s why I came over. It’s about Reagan.” Bo turned to make sure the child was otherwise occupied and lowered his voice. “We’ve found her mother. She’s on her way to Llanview now.” “I thought she was dead.”   Bo shook his head. “No, we found out that Reagan was kidnapped from a playground in Miami about four months ago. We believe the man that was killed in the alley the night we found Reagan had stolen her for his sister who wasn’t able to have kids.”   “But she thinks her mother is dead.” Nora sat down where she was standing, which fortunately was directly in front of the sofa. “She thinks her mother is dead.”   “Nora?”   “She thinks her mother is dead.”   “Nora, she’s not. Reagan’s mother is coming here to get her.” Bo said firmly.   After a deep breath, Nora looked up. “Do you know when she’ll be here?”   “In about four hours. Are you okay?” He sat down next to her.   “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Her entire facade had changed within the last few seconds like she’d flipped a switch inside.   “Well, I know it must be hard to care for a child and then let them go.”   “That’s just part of the process, Bo. It’s not always easy, but life goes on. I’ll go start getting Reagan’s things together.”   He followed her with his eyes, but she paused and turned back before she walked up the stairs. “Don’t you need to get back to the station, Bo?”   He stood, “Yes, I guess I do,” but no one was there to hear him.   Two weeks later….   Bo opened the door to Nora’s office as directed by the secretary out front and found her so enthralled in her work that she didn’t hear him. She had her reading glasses perched on her nose and her long reddish hair fell forward brushing the document she was intently studying. He reached up to knock on the frame of the open door to get her attention.   “Bo! What are you doing here?” She stood and realized how her words had sounded. “Uh, I mean, ‘Hi, how are you?”   “I’m fine; I just came to check on you actually.”   “Oh.” Nora walked around the desk and nervously leaned on the front edge. “Well, I’m fine, as you can see. The caseload is constant around here.”   Bo nodded, mentally fumbling for the right response, but she was faster.   “I would imagine that your office is pretty busy too, probably far too busy for you to be playing hooky across town checking on me. I know you can’t stay long but it was nice of you to stop by.” She walked back behind her desk and placed both hands on the top of her brown leather desk chair, a blatant sign of dismissal. “Nora! Can’t you take a break for just a few minutes?” He’d worked up the courage to come over, courage over excitement or dread he wasn’t quite sure, but now that he was here he didn’t intend to leave without at least having the chance to talk to her.   Nora checked her watch, trying to make it obvious that her schedule was tight. “I really can’t, not today.”   “Ok, then how about dinner tonight?”   “Tonight is still today, Bo,” she returned, her voice slightly agitated.   “Then breakfast, or tomorrow, or Saturday? Nora, I’m not going to give up. You are upset about something and I’m not going to leave you alone until I find out what it is. I know that you’re used to handling things on your own and that you probably prefer it that way, but not this time. You can stop and talk to me now, or tonight, or next week, but I will not leave you alone until you talk to me!”   Nora, still hidden behind the protection of her desk chair, couldn’t look at him. “I’m fine Bo, really. I promise.” She then made herself look at him. “I will call you when I have some free time.”   The strength was there but hidden not so far beneath was her vulnerability. Bo could see it as easily if someone had put a flashing neon sign above her head. She wouldn’t talk to him now, but he was right to come. Something was very, very wrong and he would need to patient until she was ready to share.   “Ok, I would appreciate that.” He handed her a business card. “Here are my numbers so you can call me.”   “Thank you.” Nora looked at Bo’s card after he’d pulled the door shut behind him. He’d written his home and cell numbers as well as his home e-mail address on the back with the words, ‘any time, day or night’. She held the small card to her heart and allowed the tears to fall for the first time since Reagan had gone home.   He had a pretty strong gut feeling that Nora’s behavior resulted from the discovery of Reagan’s mother and her return to Florida. Nora had been strong, there was no denying that fact, but he had been there and seen the pain in her face. He’d seen it enough times; he’d been the cause of her pain enough times to recognize it.   Honestly though, Nora had remained relatively calm. Reagan’s spontaneous glee at seeing her mother again was infectious and soon every eye in the police station’s conference room had at least a tear or two to wipe away. He’d been standing by Nora when Reagan and her mom hugged and he’d taken his hand in hers. And for a few minutes she let him hold it. Her hand even clinched a bit around his, but only for a moment and then she let go. Reagan’s mom came over to Nora and thanked her for taking care of her little girl and she thanked Bo for helping reunite her with her daughter.   Nora returned the woman’s hug and kneeled down to give Regan a final but tearful hug goodbye. All involved were smiling and crying but Bo knew without a doubt that Nora was the only person in the room whose tears were sad instead of happy. One of his officers escorted Reagan and her Mom out of the conference room, and as soon as they left Nora exited the room too, but headed down the same hall in the opposite direction.     Bo rubbed his eyes and looked over at the clock on the bedside table. Used to calls at all hours of the day, he didn’t hesitate to grab his ringing cell phone and answer. “Buchanan.”   “Bo?”   He relaxed slightly, “Hi, Nora.” But there was no response. “Nora? Nora? Nora, where are you?” He waited for a response but now in the silence he could hear the sniffling sound of her crying. “Nora, honey, its okay. Where are you?”   She didn’t answer but Bo soon heard a light knocking on his front door and prayed that she had called from his front porch.   It was her. Nora stood shakily in a long trench coat that adequately hid the pajamas she wore underneath. Her eyes were red and puffy telling Bo that she had been upset for some time.   He stepped out on his porch and whispered “it will be okay” into her hair as he held her tightly. The hug started a fresh set of sobs from Nora.   Bo pulled her inside, grabbed the box of tissue he kept on the front hall table and guided her to the sofa. He took a second to start a fire but quickly joined her, not hesitating to put his arms around her again.   “Shh, shhh, calm down. Take a deep breath.” Nora’s head rested on Bo’s shoulder and he caressed her back as he tried to comfort her. “Shhh, shhhh.”   Nora took several deep breaths. “I don’t think I can do this. I need to go.”   “No, please sit here and talk with me, just for a little bit. Hold on, I’ll be right back.” Bo hurried off toward the kitchen. When he returned he brought a glass of bourbon and a warm wet washcloth and indicated that she needed to make use of both. Then, he turned to the fireplace and reignited the blaze. He pulled the blanket over both of them and tucked it in around her. “Now, talk. What’s going on?”   Nora nodded but didn’t immediately start. She needed time to form her thoughts. How much was too much to share? Was it better to stay quiet and let the two of them return to their non-existent relationship?   Nora didn’t know, but when she took a glance over at Bo, she saw that his face mirrored only patience and concern.   She took a calming breath and started.   “I usually only keep a child 2 or 3 days, a week at most. I’ve been keeping children for a while. It helped me focus on something other than how much I missed you.”   Bo nodded and placed his hand over hers.   “I thought, I mean, I hoped that she was like me, you know? She needed me. I needed her. And now she’s gone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that it turned out well for Reagan. She’s a wonderful little girl and you could see how much her mother loves her. She’ll be fine. I will miss her, but I couldn’t have asked for that part of this to turn out any better. But, I can’t ignore the fact that I’m still here, alone. Again. You’ll go back to your life and I’ll go back to mine.” She turned to look at Bo.   “Are you saying that you don’t want to go back to separate lives?” Bo softly asked.   “No, I mean, yes. I don’t know what I mean. I know nothing’s changed. I still hurt and you and you still can’t forgive me.”   “I still can’t forget you,” he replied.   “You can’t?” She looked at him in wonder, not believing what she’d heard.   Bo shook his head. “Come here, let me show you something.” He took her hand and helped her to stand. He led her back to his bedroom and walked them to the side of the bed.   She was shocked. She reached down and picked up the framed picture of her that sat on his bedside table facing the bed. Nora smiled, still unsure of what this discovery meant. “So, you miss looking at me?”   Bo sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up at her. “No, not quite.” His unease was showing now. “Every night when I go to bed, I talk to you. I tell you about my day and imagine how you would answer. I tell you that I miss you and that I hope you’re doing okay.” He paused, but quickly added. “I tell you I love you.”   Nora sat down on the bed next to Bo. “You love me?” she whispered hopefully.   “I’ve never, ever stopped loving you. Not since the moment I met you.”   Nora’s shock held her speechless, and Bo looked at her questioningly.   “Do you still love me?” he asked, hoping his anticipation wasn’t too obvious.   “Bo, I can’t have any more children,” she stated as if that fact would change his mind.   “I didn’t ask you to have children, I asked if you still love me.”   “Of course I still love you! But what about having more kids?”   “Nora! Stop worrying about children, ok? It doesn’t matter if I don’t have any more kids, hell, it doesn’t matter if I don’t have a job, or my health, or anything else. Right now I don’t have you and I am miserable!”   Nora stared at him in shock.   Bo stood now and was pacing the length of the bed and back. “For that matter, if I did want to have kids, there are plenty of kids out there that need parents. Look at Reagan! You were able to not only make her feel safe and secure, you helped to find her mother and make that transition easier, even though I know you cared deeply about her. You didn’t have to be the one that gave birth to her to love her the way she deserved to be loved!” he almost yelled.   He stopped pacing in front of her and knelt down in front of where she sat on the bed. “Nora, why did you feel we needed to have a baby for us to be happy?”   “At first, I wanted you to have something positive to focus on after Drew’s death. Then, I realized that you needed more than me to move past his death. You didn’t want me or need me. I knew a baby would help, and it did. You were so excited about it, remember?”   Bo nodded.   “In my mind, that equated to a baby was something you wanted. You didn’t want me anymore, but I desperately needed you. So I tried to give you what you wanted, a baby.”   “Oh, Nora,” Bo cupped her face.   She continued, “I’ve never stopped wanting to have one. I knew I couldn’t get you back, but I could give my love to a child. I guess that’s why I started being a foster parent.”   “Nora, I never didn’t want you. Never. The situation with Drew was too awful for words. I couldn’t feel anything. I lost focus on what was important. I lost focus on you.” He raised her head to meet his eyes. “I am so sorry. I promise I never stopped loving you. I will love you until the day I die, regardless of what happens with us.”   “What will happen with us?” she whispered.   “I want us to be together! If you want us to be foster parents or adopt or whatever else, you tell me. I want to see you every day for the rest of my life. I want us to get married and grow old together!”   “I’m old already!”   “No you’re not. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world! Now, seriously, will you marry me?”   Nora nodded, and Bo leaned forward for a kiss. And there was no talking for a very, very, very long time.   The End!